Farewell Flyboy
by Katherine41319
Summary: Ok this is complete fluff. You have been warned. My take on what could have happened had Meg stayed on at JAG and it had been her instead of Mac saying goodbye to Harm as he left to fly again. Multi Chapter. Meg/Harm
1. Prolouge

"Trying to leave without saying goodbye, Sir?" Harm hooked his office door with his foot and let it slam shut. He turned to face Meg, who was leaning back leisurely in his chair. Smeared across her face was a grin that captured his heart. It was also so very smug.

"Leaving JAG to be a top gun, Sir?" she questioned the grin never faltering. "Meg…" Harm said, "I would never leave without saying goodbye." Harm smiled right back at her, only this time it was more forced. "I hope not, Sir, I don't take very well to being forgotten." Harm glared at Meg, "Forgotten, Meg?" Meg's smile was giant by now. "Well you see Sir, if you didn't say goodbye you would be either avoiding me or have forgotten, Sir." Meg's façade cracked a little bit. Harm glimpsed a sad young woman.

Meg was tough. Meg always smiled, brightened up his small world. "Meg…you ok with me going?" Meg's face fell a little. "What do you mean, Sir?" He hated leaving her. Her Texan accent was getting stronger, a clear indication she was upset. Harm opted for glaring at her in mock annoyance. "You know exactly what I mean Meg".

Meg stood from Harm's chair, leaving it swinging in her absence. "Goodbye Harm." It came out barley a whisper, but he heard it. And it killed him to hear the pain in her voice too. In an instant Harm made up his mind, she needed him. Maybe she didn't need him exactly, but someone.

"Come here Meg; you can't without a hug, Lieutenant." He opened his arms towards her. Meg hesitated for a moment, and then stepped into his embrace. Meg wrapped her arms around him and hesitantly clung to the back of his shirt. They both stood there for a long time. Eventually Meg relaxed, her shoulders loosened. Then Meg started shaking. Harm felt the wet patch that was growing steadily on his shoulder. He hugged her, creating a moment of safety for both of them before he left for an uncertain fate.

Meg had assured herself that she would be strong, when the goodbyes were said she could go home and cry. Cry by herself; in bed, for hours, and without embarrassing herself at work. So much for that plan of action, here she was acting like a little girl crying into a boy's shoulder. No wonder they didn't want woman in combat.

"Meg?" Harm questioned. He didn't break the embrace; instead he loosened it to allow Meg to escape. "Damn you Harm", Meg spoke into his shirt. "I'm gonna miss you, Sir." The words were muffled in his shirt, but Harm heard them. He gave her one last squeeze and stepped out of the embrace. Reluctantly Meg released him. Nervously she stepped back. Her eyes were swollen with tears, which hadn't ceased, and her face had gone all blotchy and red. All in all she was a mess.

"This isn't goodbye Meg. We'll keep in contact when we can." Harm assured her. Meg stared at her feet. She pulled herself together. "That won't be necessary, Sir." Harm grimaced. Meg wasn't going to accept help if it killed her. "It's a promise Meg, and you know I…", they both finished the sentence, "never break a promise". It was a tender moment, similar to the many that had taken place over their partnership. She was going to let him go, it was the right thing to do. Meg didn't want Harm to wait for her; she wanted him to be happy. Even though theirs it wouldn't be that kind of relationship.

"Don't make a promise you can't keep. You have a plane to catch, enjoy your time in the sky", Meg looked at Harm, "live your dream flyboy, farewell." She walked away from him, knowing he would do exactly as she said, Harm would live his dreams.


	2. Letters

**AN: So it seems that I'm not the only one who likes Meg. Yay! Anyway, this is going to be a few more chapters. Hope you enjoy. Critisim welcome. Reviews are love. Read away!**

**xxx**

Harm had left. He had left to fly and she was happy for him. She really was. Ever since she had known Harm flying was his dream. And she loved to see him happy like a little boy a Christmas when he was allowed to fly. She was over the moon that his dream had come true.

But she missed him like crazy.

Bud and Harriet were preoccupied with little AJ. The adorable little boy was the joy and pride of the entire JAG office. Harriet brought him in often. He had Big AJ wound around his little finger.

She wanted to talk to Harriet about Harm and her feelings. But Harriet was very busy with her little family. So Meg put on a smile and took on more paperwork, actually less without Harm dumping all of his on her, and made it through each day.

She was still Meg, cheeky and respectful, and always had time for everyone. She just felt as though she was waiting. Waiting for Harm; waiting for him to keep his promise to stay in contact. She was pleasantly surprised when a week after he left a letter came in his handwriting.

She sat on her couch at home, the letter unopened in her hands. She didn't want to open it just yet, she wanted to savour its newness. It held so many possibilities. But once it was read, it was read. She couldn't read it for the first time again. Curiosity overwhelmed her, she wanted to know how he was and if he passed his qualifications. She tore the envelope and extracted the sheet of paper from inside.

_Dear Meg,_

_Don't laugh when I tell you this Lieutenant, but the boys here call me Pappy. I can imagine you laughing at that, just don't tell the others. Why couldn't it have been something like my father's old name? Hammer. See Hammer is better right? Pappy, I'm not that old. We board the Patrick Henry in two days, and I look forward to it so much. I'll be in the air soon! Can't wait to fly again and at night too, prove my worth to the squadron. _

_Meg, you would love the boys in my squadron, all laughs and jokes. So very different from JAG. Got any interesting cases? I bet with me gone you are all struggling along not knowing what to do without me. I hope your new partner isn't as good as I am. Do you have one yet? What are they like?_

_This letter is going to be short, once I am on board the Patrick Henry I'll write you a longer one though. The boys are teasing me about a girl back home. I'll have to inform them that we aren't like that. Have fun and send my love to Bud, Harriet and kiss little AJ from his Uncle Harm._

_Harm_

_P.S. I enclosed a photo of me and my squadron. Don't laugh Meg. _

"Oh Harm."

Meg grinned at the piece of paper stupidly. She just felt so happy he was doing alright and fitting in. It would have been horrible to get his hopes up and the fail the qualifications and not become a naval aviator. It made her very happy to know he was finally a naval aviator. Following in his dad's footsteps.

Pappy. Meg laughed.

She reached back into the envelope and took out the picture. He was handsome. Older than the other guys, but still. He was smiling that famous Rabb smile. She traced her finger over his face, she smiled. How could she be so happy he was fulfilling his dream and yet so sad he wasn't here?

**xxx**

Meg pinned the picture of Harm and his squadron in her office. Somewhere where only she could see it and her clients couldn't. But she was able to see it while she worked. She smiled at it; the little cheeky smile Harm thought was cute. If only he was here.

She sat down at her desk. She could see his picture, it was like he was grinning right at her. Today was going to be a good day.

Meg grabbed a piece of paper from her tray and started her letter to Harm.

_Harm._

_Pappy kind of suits you sir. Your squadron was genius coming up with that. By the time this letter gets to you, you'll already be stuck on the Patrick Henry. Hope it gets to you before she leaves the dock. Considering you'll be on board already, have you already sweet talked someone into letting you take a bird up yet?_

_I am doing quite fine without you sir. In fact my amount of paperwork has halved and all our cases have been docile. No guns in the courtroom and the judges are more relaxed. On the other hand Bud and Harriet send their love. AJ gave me a sloppy kiss for you sir. (Little AJ not big AJ, I read back and thought I better clarify)He is getting very big. You should see him all dressed up in a mini sailor suit. It is adorable, I've enclosed a picture._

_I don't have a new partner yet, they arrive on Wednesday, and the Admiral is very closed mouth about it all. There is a betting pool in the office as to whether it is a man or a woman. I don't really mind, it will be very quiet after having you for a partner sir._

_I have a drunken disorder to go sort out sir, I'll write to you again soon. Keep safe in the air._

_Your partner_

_Meg_

Meg folded the letter up neatly and put it into an envelope. Her tongue poked out as she carefully wrote the address of the carrier.

"Ma'am, your client, Petty Officer Green, is here". Bud poked his head around her door.

"Coming". She dumped the letter in her out tray and grabbed some folders for her case. Then she was out the door politely greeting her client and inviting them in. She was doing just fine without him. But she would be better with him here. She wondered if he missed her just as much as she missed him.


	3. Mixed Emotions

**AN: Sorry it took so long to update. It's exam time, but I only have one more to go and then I can really get into this story. If it's not what you expected than sorry, I haven't had time to edit or anything. This is an in-between chap so may be a little boring. I love writing Meg! Though if you look back on the episodes she is so very blunt...it's hard to put that in her letters. Reviews make my day and critisim is welcome. Enjoy!**

**xxx**

Meg sat down on her couch. This had become her place to open Harm's letters. She kept all of them in a box, along with all of his pictures of him and the squadron. He had even sent her one of the CAG.

She had laughed when she saw that one.

Their letters to each other were light. Harm told her about his squadron, and she in turn told him about her cases. They had developed a pattern. Occasionally Harm would talk about his missions, but so far they were at a minimum. Meg felt her life was boring in comparison. A few cases here and there.

Her big surprise really had been her new partner. Or old whichever way you wanted to look at it.

Krennick.

Meg remembered her. Actually what stuck with her most was Harm's stories. Like the time Krennick went in his shower to find another woman. Poor Harm, Krennick had really been out to get him.

Apart from being fixated by Harm, Krennick wasn't that bad. She had saved Meg's life once when a bullet was shot into her skull. It wasn't something Meg was going to forget soon.

Beside Krennick didn't mind her Texan bluntness.

Anyway she held in her hands the latest letter from Harm. It had arrived this morning but she had waited all day to open it. Her hands were almost shaking with anticipation. She so looked forward to these letters.

_Dear Meg,_

_So Krennick huh? They really brought that old fossil back? Looks like I won't be visiting JAG then. She asked about me? _

_What did the Admiral say about the Verity case? It sounds like that man is a nasty person. You really should have someone else with you on that case Meg. Don't take it as me underestimating your proficiency or ability, I would feel better though. The idea of you around a guy who is beating women up is concerning. For the guy too, wouldn't want you beating him up. _

_I meet on old face yesterday. Do you remember Skates? She is flying Tomcats on the Patrick Henry too. We had a ball just catching up on old times. Stayed up till one in the morning, just talking. Regretted it later of course, early morning flight at 0500 was hell. _

_The men are all doing fine. Daredevils the lot of them. I fit right in. You remember some of the stunts I've pulled. But there is the whole age thing. I am older and so not much chance of promotion. I'm not sure quite where I'm going at the moment. My talk with Skates was nice though, able to get it off my chest. She says I'm keeping up and with the fitness test coming up I guess that is a good thing. I need to pass, it proves something to the other guys, you know?_

_I have to report to the CAG and the XO at you well Meg._

_Harm_

She had mixed reactions about this letter.

Firstly, she could handle her own cases. She didn't need to be mollycoddled.

Secondly, Skates? Of course she remembered Skates. Harm would be overjoyed to meet her again. They had got on so well last time. But she felt almost jealous. Harm and her had no relationship per say. She had no right to feel this way about a perfectly nice woman. This was one time when she wouldn't be blunt so to Harm about her thoughts.

**xxx**

It took Meg a few days to have time to reply to Harm. The Jag office was full of important cases. They were short staffed. Everyone was snowed under in more cases than they could handle.

Meg settled into her chair. Carefully uncapped her pen and arranged the blank piece of paper in front of her.

_Harm._

_Krennick isn't that bad. She still holds a flame for you though. Had an interesting conversation about your dating life. Pity you don't have one, she has some ideas on how to improve it. Better hold off on visiting the office (but you better visit everyone sometime). _

_I can take the Verity case, sir. He is a bad man, but then I have dealt with my share of bad men in my life. I'm no snowflake. The Admiral handed over that case to me. We are all drowning in cases at the moment. Everyone is looking exhausted. I have a hearing for the court martial of a decorated marine in an hour. It's a sad story, sir. I can't do anything for him, too much evidence._

_Skates. Say hi for me. Must be nice to see her again, hope she is doing well._

_Admiral is calling for me. Fly safe._

_Your partner_

_Meg_

There that was nice enough. Meg put her face in her hands. She didn't do waiting well.

It was harder to gauge what Harm's relationship with Skates was like from a letter. She wanted to know what was happening. It was bugging her like crazy.


	4. An Invitation

**AN: Sorry about the long wait, all I can say is exams. Well I sorta like this chapter, It flows a little easier than the others. I love writing Meg, she amuses me...and no she won't just love Harm. It would take something quite big to bring the two of them together. Well enjoy, and I rely on your reviews to know exactly how badly or good I'm doing...so click the little blue button.**

**xxx**

Over the last week Meg had thought about Harm often. Well, more like Harm and Skates. She had decided that they were good for each other. That decision hadn't let the sinking feeling in her stomach disappear.

She had fallen for Harm.

Meg wouldn't do anything about it. She decided. Maybe if he were not interested in Skates the story would be different. Meg picked up a pencil.

The photo of Harm and his team stood proudly on her desk.

_Harm._

_How are the boys? Enjoying every minute in the air? Bet you're like a little kid at the circus with all the flying you are doing, sir. How is Skates? From your last letter it sounded like she was getting quite a talk from the CAG. Along with you sir. Still can resist having a little fun can you, sir?_

_The Verity case is taking longer than we thought. NCIS seems to be dawdling with all the files. They still claim it's an open case. I want to get into court and put him behind bars. I sound like a prosecutor don't I? I'm trying to convince him to plead guilty and get a lesser sentence, but he won't budge. If he pleads guilty he will be behind bars for life. _

_AS to your last recommendation about me getting a hobby, I have one. It's called horse riding. I'm from Texas Harm, I ride horses. I also work, it's like a hobby I do all the time. What about your hobby huh sir? Flying is work now. So what's your hobby?_

_Your partner_

_Meg_

Meg folded the letter carefully and placed into the envelope.

"That letter for me?"

Meg looked up startled. "Harm!" She ran around her desk to give him a hug. "Why are you here?"

Harm laughed. "Is that any way to greet your partner?" He looked at her very seriously, "Your partner who is risking meeting Krennick just to say hello?"

Meg's face fell a little. "You're just popping in?"

Harm looked at his old partner. Oh, how much she missed him and his Rabb smile. "Drove down here to pick some stuff up from my apartment. Roll calls the day after tomorrow. Skates is waiting for me at my apartment that's why I'm only here briefly."

Meg smiled a big fake smile. "Got your girl over for the weekend huh, sir? Bet she's waiting eagerly for you to get home", she said with a suggestive smile.

"Meg!" Harm's face was horrified. "It's not like that. No. Not at all. Meg, how could you think that?!", Harm looked shocked.

Meg smiled cheekily. "Whatever gave me that idea? Must be the way you talk about her, you know Harm, the whole she's extraordinary. Call it my woman's intuition."

Harm smiled. "You have women's intuition?" Meg hit him. "Oww! Well your intuition is wrong. She has nowhere to stay. I offered to bunk with her. Nothing romantic."

Meg grinned at him. "Whatever you say Harm." It was a mini barn dance in her head. And everyone was singing 'Harm isn't dating Skates, Harm isn't dating Skates…" Like a little theme song.

Krennick came into the bull pen discussing a case with Harriet. Harm ducked behind Meg's blinds. "I pushed my luck. She gonna find me, I just know it!" Harm groaned.

Krennick's office door shut behind her. "If you make a run for it she might miss you, sir. But you better go now!" Meg grinned at Harm. "Unless you want me to introduce her to you again…"

Harm grinned at her. "Say no more Lieutenant, I am leaving now." He snatched Meg's letter from her desk. "No need to post this anymore." He disappeared behind her door.

Two seconds later he was back. "Forgot the whole reason of my visit. Do you want to join me and Skates for dinner?"

Meg grinned. Now Skates posed no threat she was eager to meet her again. "Sure, why not."

Harm grinned, "See you later!" And he was gone again. Meg walked slowly back to her desk and sat down. She grinned stupidly at nothing. She really had missed him. She continued to grin.

**xxx**

Harm walked out of the JAG building. The thoughts were whirling around in his head. The thought that shocked him the most was that he had fallen for his partner. And he hadn't realised it until he saw her again. Now he didn't want to leave her.


	5. A Disaster in the Making

**AN: This will probably be the last update for this week, sorry going on a no internet holiday. Arrg, lots of time for writing though so maybe this story will be finished. Thanks for all the amazing reviews, especailly VisualIDentificationZeta, Liz, byrhthelm, Michi uk and gunsbuster. Love feedback :) Ok read and enjoy!**

**xxx**

Meg bit her lip. She felt irrationally nervous, Harm's door was a like a brick wall that stopped her from moving forward. What if despite what he said, Skates and Harm's relationship wasn't purely plutonic?

That brought up the other problem, if Skates wasn't romantically interested in Harm, how was Meg going to tell Harm her feelings? What if Harm didn't return those feelings? Their friendship could lie in shatters along with her dreams.

Timidly Meg knocked on the door. It swung open with force, "Meg! Finally a female to agree with me, do you like anchovies?"

Startled Meg was dragged into the room by hurricane Skates. Harm looked up from over the frying pan. "Hey Meg. Skates I already know she doesn't. But for the fifth time I will repeat, the anchovies will only be added to my pasta." It looked like they had, had this argument a few times already.

"Hiya Harm. What's cooking?" Meg got a word in edgeways.

Harm gestured for her to come and see. Meg stepped around the counter grabbing a Dr Pepper as she went. She leaned over the pan. "This isn't going to turn out like Harm's famous meatless meatloaf is it? Meg grinned cheekily at Harm.

"You actually made that Harm? That's like a violation of some cooking law isn't it Meg?" Skates looked horrified. Meg agreed with her sentiment completely.

"It was pretty toxic." Meg told Skates. She bit her lip. Harm leaned in closer. His presence was addling her brain. Meg struggled to think.

Really? You thought that? I'm hurt, I'm wounded Meg" He faked a dramatic death.

Skates and Meg looked at each other, then turned to face Harm with the same unamused expression. Skates turned to Meg "Any good takeout's close by?"

Harm stopped acting. "Really? You haven't even tried my food yet?" He tried to look wounded.

Skates grinned at him. "Just scoping out my options, sir." Meg grinned at Harm. It was fun, her and Skates ganging up on Harm. Harm was still standing very close to her. Meg was constantly aware of his presence. She was definitely falling in love with Harm, her partner and friend. Meg's dilemma was whether or not to keep quiet about these new found feelings or speak up.

"Meg?" She looked up startled. Harm and Skates were staring at her confused. "You zoned out for a minute Meg." Harm looked at her slightly concerned.

"Sorry. What were you saying?" Meg was blushing. She really had to stop daydreaming about Harm. It was going to get her in a lot of trouble someday. The worst option was that someone would notice. Suddenly she realised she was daydreaming again.

Harm and Skates were sharing anxious looks. "You ok there Lieutenant? Meg tried not to blush. She had been caught twice thinking about Harm. And he looked so cute when he was worried.

"Just thinking." Skates grinned like she was struck by inspiration. It worried Meg, she looked too happy. Suddenly Meg smelled burning. "Harm, dinner!"

Harm, Skates and Meg raced over to the pan that held their evening meal. It was so burnt, you couldn't even tell what it had once been. "How did we no notice that burning, it smells putrid." Skates complained.

Harm looked mournful. "My dinner. Now I have nothing to feed you guys."

Meg grinned. "I guess it is takeout's after all." Harm looked up as the girls grinned at each other.

"Yeah you both think this is funny don't you? We'll just see you laughing when you get food poisoning from the Chinese place.

Meg tried to look wide eyed and innocent. "Who said we were going for Chinese. There is a new pizza place around the corner." Skates laughed.

"Pizza it is then."

**xxx**

Harm went off to search for a menu he had somewhere. Meg and Skates made themselves comfortable on his couch. "So, you have a guy?"

Meg looked at Skates. "A guy?" Skates smiled like she thought that Meg was cute. "Oh, um no." Meg blustered her way through. Skates studied her.

"Someone you like then?" Harm could be heard shuffling around. "A crush?" Meg fiddled.

Her phone started to ring shrilly. Meg almost sighed aloud in relief, almost. She already had been close to giving herself away. "Lt Austin. Yes…On my way. Meg stood up.

Harm poked his head around the corner. "Leaving us?" Meg tried to look apologetic, inside she was relieved, things were slowly getting awkward.

"Yes, I'm sorry Harm. It's the Verity case. NCIS has turned up some new evidence. I need to go meet my client before thing get messy. " Harms face feel slightly. "When do you leave?"

Harm looked saddened. "0600. We won't see each other before I leave." Harm reminded Meg of a kicked puppy.

"Look after him Skates." Meg told his partner. "Sorry Harm. I'll write as usual" She gave him a hug, sending her emotions into a whirlwind. "Bye"

With that she was out the door and dialling her client, leaving Harm behind. He didn't see her pained face as she thought about the months ahead of her. Months without him, only to see him for a few hours in one evening. She didn't cry though, Meg could credit herself that.


	6. A Shock

**AN: I'm back! Ok I can't say much about this chapter exapt if you don't like it...I'm sorry. It has a slight twist (hehe). Critisim welcome, and reviews enjoyed. Read!**

**xxx**

**Harm's POV**

Harm was all packed for his departure from Washington, back to the Patrick Henry. His plane had been due to fly out at 0600 and unfortunately his plane had been cancelled. He now was due at the airport at 1400. He had a few hours till he was due to fly out from Washington. He had nothing to do now except wait.

Harm paced around his apartment. Maybe he should try Meg? She could possibly squeeze some time in for her old partner. Or maybe that was a bad idea, Harm didn't want to be seen as desperate to see her. But on the other hand he was going to miss her like crazy once he left for the carrier. He made up his mind.

Fishing around in his bag Harm drew out his phone, he wondered briefly if Meg would be too busy to find time for him to say goodbye to her. Deciding that trying her wouldn't hurt, Harm dialled her number.

It rung to answering machine.

Harm tried again. The same thing happened. Defeated Harm threw down his phone. Meg's case was probably keeping her very busy. He sighed. Harm had really wanted to see her again. He had missed her more than he would care to admit. His spunky Texan partner had endeared herself to him. He was about to go and spend three more months on the carrier, before he could see her again. He really wanted to see her again, he wished those three months were shorter.

Skates was off to see an old friend before she flew out with Harm. He had regretfully handed her the keys to his corvette. Skates wasn't picking him up for a while yet. Harm sat down on his bed and scrambled around for paper and a pen.

_Dear Meg_

_My plane was cancelled; I had a few hours free. I missed you I guess, too busy with your case. Decided I'll drop this letter by before I leave. It was nice to see you again even if it was only for a very short time. You're looking good partner. _

_Hope your phone call made your case easier, to convict the guy of course. Maybe you'll get a nicer case next time, tell the Admiral I said so. Also give Bud, Harriet and little AJ my love._

_Skates in picking me up soon. I am looking forward to getting back up in the air again. The guys probably met a few girls, gonna hear all their stories when I get back on board the carrier. I bet they have a few good stories to tell. Skates will spill the story of my burned dinner to all the guys, 'Pappy' will never live it down. _

_I left you the key to my apartment, the plants (I have one) needs watering. You don't mind do you? If you can't, or don't have the time, then just ask Bud to, and give him the key will you? _

_I better get going, Skates is coming soon. Good luck with your case._

_Harm_

Harm put down his pen. Gosh, he was going to really miss her. "Meg." He spoke to nothing. Her name sounded pretty. It was short, not that she was, but it suited her. "Meg."

He briefly wondered if he should consider coming back to JAG again. After all he wasn't getting any younger and his chances of promotion were slim as a Tomcat pilot. Harm decided that maybe in a few years' time he could seriously consider a transfer back to JAG, but for the meantime he wasn't giving up his time in the sky. He felt something for his partner, but he wasn't sure what it was yet. Meg would have to wait, he could deal with seeing her once every few months, couldn't he?

Harm put his letter in an envelope and scrawled Meg's name across it. He sat on his bed with the letter in his hands. He wished more than anything he could see her before he had to leave again.

Harm's head bowed in defeat.

**xxx**

"This the place?" Skates queried. Harm's corvette was parked outside Meg's apartment. Skates glanced at Harm. He seemed to be in deep thought. "Harm?" she said softly.

"Huh?" Harm came out of his thoughts. "Oh, um yeah, this is it. I'll be two secs, just dropping this off." He waved the letter in Skates face. He really hoped she didn't analyse his mood. Harm opened the door, and stared up at the house that his partner called home. He took a deep breath and walked through the door and into the elevator.

Harm kept on wondering, why did he find it so hard to leave her? I mean he was going to see her in a few months. His feelings just didn't make any sense to himself.

**xxx**

Harm knocked on Meg's door. He still hoped he could catch her at home. No-one came to the door. And he knocked again. The apartment was silent. Harm sighed. It was a long shot anyway.

Harm took out his letter to Meg. He fingered it. Harm couldn't decide if he wanted to try and go by the JAG office to try find her. He fumbled and the letter fell. Harm picked it up and decided that it wasn't worth it; Meg was obviously very busy with her case.

"Sonny, she's not home. Didn't come home all night." An old man was slowly trying to put his key in the door to his apartment. "Watching that door like it has all the answers, isn't going to help." He smiled a toothless smile, "I should know."

Harm grinned faintly. "I'm leaving, just wanted to say goodbye." He tried to explain to Meg's old neighbour.

The old guy looked at Harm very seriously. "Don't do that. Leaving people is when they move on or bad things happen." The old man glared at Harm. "Anyway she has already been down these past months, forgets to say hello, looks like her world is darker. Don't you add to that pain Sonny." With that statement the little old man slammed his door will an unexpected amount of force.

Harm was left standing in a deserted hallway wonder what just happened. Something about not leaving her? Something that the old man had said niggled at the corner of his mind, but he couldn't quite grasp it. He went back to leaving his letter, Skates was waiting for him.

"Sorry Meg." He slid the letter under her door. "I am very sorry we didn't have longer to catch up."

Harm turned away and went back into the elevator, and back to Skates and the Patrick Henry.

**xxx**

Harm jumped off the Sea Hawk. He stopped and gazed out at sea, then at the Tomcats, he was coming home. He pondered what the rest of his squadron had done with their leave. Met some girls? Found some hot beaches? He took off jogging to see the boys.

To his surprise the CAG was running toward him. Harm speculated as to why the CAG needed him. Harm stopped and acknowledged him. "Sir."

"At ease Commander." The CAG looked serious. "You are to report to the XO immediately, and when I say immediately I mean?"

Harm said, "Last year, Sir." He grinned at The CAG.

The CAG gave a grim smile. "Well then why are you dawdling here Commander?"

"Yes Sir, sorry Sir." Harm was off at a run. The CAG smirked. As Harm made his way across the deck he wondered what was so important that he was summoned the minute he had landed. This wasn't normal protocol for arriving at the Patrick Henry.

Welcome to the Patrick Henry indeed.

**xxx**

"Sir, Commander Harmon Rabb reporting as ordered, Sir." Several petty officers looked up from their work to gaze at him. He wondered briefly if he had done something that was putting his career on the Patrick Henry at risk. But apart from his usual tricks his mind was blank.

The XO lifted his head up from his map. "At ease Commander." Harm changed his position. "Admiral Chegwiddgen called from JAG." Harm looked confused. What on earth?! Why is the JAG office contacting him, and why was it so urgent that the message needed to be passed to him the minute his Sea Hawk landed? "It's concerning a Lt Austin. You were the last to see her alive…"


	7. Missing

**AN: Okay after the last chapter I thought I better update sooner. Now as we all know Meg is not dead, I just believe that if they haven't gotten together in four years it would take more of a push to get that to happen. So bear with me; criticise and review!**

**xxx**

**Harm's POV**

Harm interrupted the XO, "She's dead? She can't be! It's just not possible." Harm was shocked. What the hell had happened to her in the two days it took him to get from Washington to the Patrick Henry?

"Just a minute Commander." The XO cut in. "She has disappeared and is presumed dead. No-one knows what has really befallen the Lieutenant." Harms face relaxed a little. Just a little.

"What the hell happened?" He was getting angry. "And how soon can I fly out?" He was almost shouting.

"Commander I order you to calm down." The XO almost shouted. "And let me finish. " The poor guy was getting blue in the face trying to get through to a clearly very upset Commander Rabb.

"NCIS uncovered that her client in her latest case was using an alias. His name the Lt knew him under was James Verity. He has had five other aliases in naval bases all over America."

The phone call about a development in her case. Harm interrupted again. "She went to meet her client to discuss a possible fact NCIS had uncovered. She didn't know who he was, or wasn't at the time." Harm could see Meg rushing to keep ahead of NCIS agents, to be a good lawyer.

"As I was saying Commander." The XO started again. "He has five aliases in naval bases where a number of women have disappeared and turned up dead. All in the time that he was there. Neither him, nor his aliases were connected to the crime. We have identified him as Roe Peterson. His parents are dead, and he has a brother who resides in Los Angeles."

Harm soaked in all the information. But nothing the XO said told him where Meg could be. "And what about Meg? What are her chances with this guy?" Harm said, desperately searching for some hope that his old partner was alive.

"He seems to keep the women alive for about a month before they turn up dead. You are on the first plane back to DC, your Sea Hawk hasn't lifted yet. The Admiral wants you on this one." The XO ordered. "Dismissed." The XO looked relived that Harm was getting out of his hair, but also concerned for this partner of his.

"Sir, thank-you, Sir." He spun on his heel and headed directly for the Sea Hawk.

Harm had so many questions. Where was Meg? Would he get to Washington in time to be of any help to the case? Harm ran faster. The sooner he got to Washington the sooner he could start looking for Meg.

**xxx**

"Come in." The Admiral looked up from his desk. "Rabb, nice to see you back." He put his head in his hands. "I have everyone in this office looking through each of Peterson's aliases to try and find out where he could have taken Meg. So far no luck." The Admiral stood up and walked to Harm. "I'm sorry."

Harm stared straight ahead. He just wanted to get searching. Surely he would find something someone else had missed. He didn't want to think that Meg had already missing for 4 and a half days. Way over the 48 hour line. They could be looking for a body by now. "Where do I start Sir?"

**xxx**

**Meg's POV**

There was no window. It was dark, but there was enough light for her to see the walls. They were closing in on her. Her breath caught.

A door creaked. Footsteps grew closer. She cowered in the corner. Fear filled her eyes till she looked like a trapped animal. The door was roughly yanked open. "Hello Lieutenant. Enjoying my cellar? I'm afraid it isn't as nice as my guest room. A grin lit his face. The man chuckled at his own joke. "Well no worries, you don't mind do you? No, of course not." He answered his own question with a smirk.

Meg tried to keep as far away from him as possible. She fancied that he radiated evil. He grinned at her; it made her feel dirty, she drew her uniform closer to her. Meg was painfully aware of just how vulnerable she was, she was at his mercy, and she hated it.

"They will find me." Meg's voice rasped. Whether it was from her shouting early on in her capture, or from its recent disuse she had no idea. It wavered though.

"Oh yes, they will find you." He smiled reassuringly. "Will it be too late though?" Meg saw in his eyes that he wouldn't hesitate to kill her, in fact his eyes danced at the thought. She had to look away, he frightened her like no-one ever had. He leant in closer. "I will make them remember me, the navy." His breath smelt of onions and garlic. It made Meg gag.

He stood up, placing a bowl filled with an unknown substance and a small cup with water down. "Your meal." With that he stood up to leave.

"James, James! Don't leave me! Please…anything but this dark…anything James!" Meg begged. Her dirty fingers clamped around his leg and gripped on with unexpected power.

He kicked her back. Meg clutched her hand and shrank into the shadows of the room whimpering. "I get sick of this!" He spat. "Please James! Not this room James! I need a window James! Shut up, or I'll do it permanently." He kicked to bowl of water over. Meg automatically reached forward to stop the precious drops from spilling. She shrank back again when he made as if to kick her.

Her captor laughed as he left the room, slamming the door behind him. The wall began to close in in her again.

Meg tried closing her eyes, but that just made her imagine the walls growing smaller and smaller. Till they became so small she was sure she was being suffocated, then her eyes would spring open and the walls would mock her.

Meg tried to close her eyes and imagine her ranch in Texas. Her horse, and what it felt like riding him. It was a blow to the gut when she would open her eyes and the daydream was gone. It was worse than those horrible walls.

As a last resort Meg tried to conjure up Harms face in her mind. His typical Rabb smile and warm eyes. The way his arms felt when he hugged her goodbye before he left to fly. A strong firm hug, a hug that made Meg fell completely safe. The way he made her day brighter in the small thing, driving that little bit further to go get her favourite pizza, or actually doing some of his own paperwork when he saw she was stressed. When she thought of him she felt safe.

But when Meg opened her eyes the reality was the same; four small walls and no window, and a man upstairs who had her under his power and wouldn't hesitate to kill her.


	8. A Small Hope

**AN: Sorry it took longish for me to post. Thank you to Amy who helped me write this. I know this isn't fluff, the stroy kinda turned into something deeper. It's short, but the next on will be longer, I promise. So read and review!**

**xxx**

**Harm's POV**

Harm rubbed his eyes. He felt so tired, if only he could close his eyes for just a moment. His body craved sleep. He eyelids felt heavy…

He jerked his head upwards. Harm refused to fall asleep. He was getting nowhere with these files. Meg was gone, Peterson had left no trace anywhere. Every single one of his aliases had hidden the woman in what seemed like random areas. First a shed at the back of a farm, then in a cellar, another in an abandoned hunting lodge. There was no pattern. Harm rubbed his eyes harder and forced the words on the page to come into focus. They refused to obey him.

Maybe it was time for a break. No. Meg was out there and in no way was his tiredness going to stop him from finding her as soon as possible.

The local PD had been all over Meg's disappearance. Her face was plastered over every news station and local radio. If anyone saw her or Peterson they were to call in immediately. NCIS had people digging through Peterson's apartment and workplace for any clue as to where Peterson had taken Meg. Guards were placed at areas Peterson frequented. His apartment was watched. Everyone was working around the clock.

Harm took his eyes off the page and glanced around him. What seemed like the entire JAG office was glancing at sheets of paper. Harriet was going around dabbing at red eyes and offering coffee. Bud was shuffling through a folder, it was the same folder as the one that Harm himself was staring at. Little AJ had long since fallen asleep in a cot Bud had set up beside his desk. It was a wonder all the noise didn't wake him; he was the only one relaxing in the offices.

Krennick had ignored him to grab a cup of coffee off Harriet, and then went back to examining her own files. There was no "nice to see you", the circumstances were too dire. Meg's life was on the line.

The Admiral had been 'interviewing' Peterson's brother all day. A few times the Admiral had come out of the room red faced and frustrated, he would utter a quick "nothing still". Then he would disappear, only to reappear again with two cups of coffee and go back into the Conference room.

**xxx**

Sometime late in the evening the Admiral escorted Ted Peterson out of the building. The Admiral's face was dejected. Any hope of finding Meg alive was growing slimmer by the second. People began to go home, to sleep, and come back refreshed for the search. Meg's face was again being shown on the news, the reporter asking for anyone with information as to this woman's whereabouts to come forward. Harm knew Peterson wouldn't be so stupid as to take her out into the public. The chances of anyone calling in with an actual sighting were near to none.

With this in mind Harm forced his mind back to the task at hand. With a start Harm realized something – every time Peterson had killed a woman she had been kept in the country. He had never kept a woman in a heavily populated or urban area. Harm checked again. Yes, only rural areas. Chances were that he would keep to that pattern. There weren't that many rural areas in Washington for Peterson to use. To narrow it down even further the number of houses or shed Peterson could get hold of was slim. He would also need to be far away from other houses. That would give them a smaller area to search. Harm reached for his phone. They finally had a lead.

Harm remembered to breathe again for the first time since he had heard Meg was gone.

**xxx**

**Meg's POV**

Was it even possible to be even more scared that she was right now? Meg didn't think so. She sat frozen against the wall, stiff with fright, her ears attuned to any small sound that could signal her kidnapper coming back. The adrenaline rush forced her awake, she was running on no sleep, wired and almost hysterical. Thoughts popped in and out of her brain. She had long since lost track of how long she had been kept here, without light the days blended together, only clocked by meals from her kidnapper. Everything was out of her control. Meg's trembling fingers ran through her tangled short hair. Nausea came in waves, each time threatening to overwhelm her. Meg would rock herself until it passed, wishing for someone, anyone to rescue her. Sweat trickled over her forehead, passed her wide scared eyes. Her body was racked with tremors, causing her teeth to chatter and her shoulders to shake. Her breathing was ragged and loud, irritating to her own ears.

Meg shot into the corner, like a dog that had been kicked too many times, at the sound of footsteps toward her small prison. The door creaked open. "Lieutenant? Anyone rescued you yet?" He taunted her.

In the darkness Meg was beginning to forget the faces of the ones she loved. His face, the man she knew as James Verity, taunted her. He came back just to see her, to mock her plight.

"They will come" Empty words now. It was her mantra, if anyone could find her Harm would. If he even knew out at sea. It had started to become less likely after a while. She didn't believe it anymore, but that didn't stop her saying it.

"Well times up for them. I gave them their shot. He dusted off an old box. He carefully sat down. "See there in something you should now. I didn't plan on taking you." He grinned a little. "Well you are a nice girl, but really I prefer them a little more…submissive." He glanced around her little cellar. "So the time has come for our friendship to end. I toyed with the idea of leaving you here alive, waiting for your so called friends. But I can't risk you escaping. I'm so sorry." He didn't look it. Meg shrank further into her corner.

Her eyes were panicked, flicked at him, then the door. She wanted out. Surely someone would come… He stood up. She clawed at the walls, she was too weak to fight back. He moved toward her, drawing a gun out of his pocket. She stilled petrified. "It will be quick" He smiled and calmly aimed the gun at her. She was trapped, there was no way out.


	9. Come Find Me

**AN: Sorry it took so long to update. The next chapter is split into two parts and I will upload the second part tomorrow as Chapter 10. Please read and review!**

**xxx**

**Harm's POV**

It was too many houses. Over 200 houses in the DC area corresponded with Peterson's previous pattern. The local PD and NCIS were trying to hit as many houses as they could. Time was running out for Meg though.

Harm would be out there in a second if he could, but until they had any solid evidence of her whereabouts the Admiral was keeping him at JAG. He shuffled through another lot of files. Harm knew them all off by heart. There was nothing more he could do. He picked up a pencil and began to write.

_Meg,_

_I don't know if you'll ever get this letter, or if I'll even give it to you. At the moment you are missing. NCIS and the Metro police are searching houses in hope of finding you. They are not hopeful. To tell you the truth Meg I am also giving up hope. It has been five days since you went missing. I have felt every second of it. _

_I miss you something crazy Meg._

_I am beginning to realise my feelings toward you. I think I may love you. What a realization to come to when you may be out of my life for good. If we find you Meg I promise to quit flying and come back to JAG if the Admiral will have me. And if you say yes to a relationship between us. If the Admiral is his stubborn self and refuses to take me back, I will take any work I can to be near you. Just please Meg come home._

_Harm_

He carefully put the pen away. Folding the letter carefully he put it in his front pocket. There it would stay until he found her and she was able to read it herself. Otherwise it would go down with her in her coffin. But Harm would do anything in his power to avoid the latter.

**xxx**

**Meg's POV**

It's funny, when you have a gun in your face all you can concentrate on is the other person's eyes. The gun itself is only the instrument that will be used for your timely ending on this earth. The persons hands, the part that will carry out the deed. But the eyes of that person are windows to the soul. They give away true feelings.

Meg didn't speak at all. She had begged and pleaded, cried and screamed. Nothing had changed James's mind. So she gave up. Looking at death in the face, Meg accepted it on some level. James's eyes were as cold as ice, slightly detached from what he was about to do. He saw her as a job, a necessary part of his master plan.

Her fingers clenched into a fist. Was this how it would end? Was this how it ended for her farther in Vietnam? He would have gone down with a fight. But she was so weak, cold, and trapped. There was nothing she could do. At least that's what she kept telling herself.

James stepped forward. "I'm sorry about the inconvenience. Your hero won't get here in time." He lowered the gun a little as he spoke. "I pity him when he finds your body. "

Meg's eyes shone with unshed tears. She quietly fingered the ground around her searching for a useful weapon. Her fingers brushed her cooking utensils. Her cup and bowl. Not useful. Spoon, maybe? It was the best she had. Her fingers curled around it. James may threaten her, but her own pain was bearable. Causing Harm pain on the other hand was non-negotiable. She would do anything in her power to avoid it.

James brought the gun to her forehead. Meg flinched away from him. He laughed and fired. Her eyes squeezed shut preparing herself for death.

Meg whimpered. Her eyes flew open. Nothing had happened, no pain, no blood. James grinned at her. "So sorry sweetheart, no bullets." The empty shell fell to the floor. It clattered, the sound filled Meg's mind. She was still alive.

He carelessly lay the gun down on the box he had previously been sitting on. He began walking around the small cellar. "Enjoying your time down here Lieutenant?" He was taunting her. "I notice you seem to have a peculiar hatred against, tiny, enclosed spaces. It must seem like hell down here. And after five days… well it must seem a pity that the gun didn't contain bullets." He was ranting, trying to provoke her, but ranting nonetheless.

Meg eyed the gun. It was useless to threaten him with, it was empty. But it was the closest she had come to a real weapon within her reach in her entire time in captivity. If only she could reach it without attracting his attention. She remembered the spoon, maybe a luck blow? After all he had no gun.

He turned his back on her. "I have come to realise…" Meg reached for the gun. She quickly lifted it to hit him on the back of the head with the butt of the rifle. There was a cracking sound. Her hand hurt like crazy, James made a whimpering sound and fell into a heap on the cold floor.

She stood there shocked. Had she killed him? She couldn't have. Leaning over she felt for a pulse. Definitely one there, which meant he was alive. Meg felt in control again. Decisively she searched his pockets for something to contact JAG. He stirred. Her fingers stilled. Meg anxiously gazed at his face. She felt a smooth metallic item with her fingers, grabbing it she fished it out. A phone! She unlocked it, no passcode. She stood up and dialled Harm's familiar number. "Come on Harm. Pick up Damnit." Meg gripped the phone to her ear.

Distantly over the speaker Meg heard a "Hello…?" Just the sound of his voice brought a lump to her throat. "Who is this?" Meg forcibly swallowed.

Shakily she said, "Harm, its Meg. Can you come pick me up? I've got myself into a bit of a fix." Then her world went black.

**xxx**

Her head hurt. Thumped along with her heart. Meg couldn't hear anything around her. Where was James? All she could see was black. How long was she out for? She tried to reach forward, painfully chaffing her hands against rope bonds. Damn he must have tied her up. The room started coming into focus. James was gone, as was his gun and cell phone.

His cell phone. Had Harm got her call? Judging by how hungry she was it had been quite some time since she had made the call. If he hadn't found her by now the chances were slim. He must have traced the call and be on his way. Unless James had moved her location. But the cellar was still the same; which meant he wasn't that smart, or he underestimated whoever she had called. But Harm would trace it and find her. Wouldn't he? Meg allowed herself to succumb to sleep, and hoped her head would stop hurting and allow her to think straight sometime soon.


	10. Safe At Last

**AN: Merry Christmas to all my readers and reviewers! I hope to post at least one more time before Christmas. Anywho enjoy this chapter, and review!**

**xxx**

**Meg's POV**

It was colder than when she had last woken up. Meg interpreted this bit of information as it was probably night now. She was still hungry, and it looked like James hadn't been down here again. He certainly hadn't left her any food. Her stomach growled.

"James! James please, I need some food and water!" Meg pleaded. She didn't even know if he was still here. He may have left her to die. In that case calling was fruitless.

But her shouts were quickly rewarded with footsteps across the cellar ceiling. They stopped. She continued to call until her voice became hoarse and her head swam with exertion. James never came down.

Meg strained at her bonds, but all the good that did was cause the rope to cut into her skin, until she felt blood dripping down. Nausea overwhelmed her for a second. She gagged. He couldn't leave her here to die? The very thought of being caught in this small room with no window terrified Meg. But she was scared stiff by the idea that she was going to starve to death down here. She pulled at her bonds once more; they cut into her skin again. Meg didn't have the energy to scream. She didn't even have the energy to cry, or enough moisture in her body. How long had she been without food? How many days had passed since she had called Harm?

Meg's eyes slid shut. Surely Harm would be here soon?

**xxx**

The throbbing in her head had died down enough for Meg to become more aware of her surroundings and situation. There was still no sign of food or water from James. He was obviously punishing her for attacking him, or else he wanted her to die slowly. Either was possible. The room was just as small and dark as Meg remembered, the walls threatened to close in on her. She would have thought after the amount of time spent in this room her claustrophobia would have ceased, instead it returned stronger than before. She began to hyperventilate. Her fears were beginning to get the better of her.

A crash from above her, jerked Meg out of her thoughts. She noticed that whatever James was doing upstairs he wasn't bothering to be quiet. There were footsteps, sometimes it seemed like he was running. Other times she could hear him talking to himself, though she couldn't make out the words. He moved furniture, and once or twice his phone rang. He never picked it up.

She felt ill and weak from the lack of water. The adrenaline that had kept her awake for so many days had faded. Now instead of being awake and all her senses being on full alert, she wanted to sleep. Her uniform was filthy and she felt like she was covered in an inch of dirt. Her wrists stung like crazy from all her attempts to get herself free. Her stomach ached for food.

**xxx**

Her eyes flew open. She must have drifted off. She heard bangs that sounded suspiciously like flash bombs going off. People were yelling. It sounded loud to her ears, her headache returned. Why didn't they come down here and find her? A whole lot of gunshots went off at once. Silence reigned once more.

Then the yelling started again. Shakily Meg called out, "Please somebody I'm down here! Please come get me out!" Somebody thumped on the cellar door. Meg didn't know if they were here to help her, or if they wanted her dead. She would take her chances. "Help me..."

The door was broken into with a loud crack. Men in black with guns were in her face. They hesitated, then one spoke into his radio. "Paramedics in the cellar. ASAP." They weren't going to hurt her. Meg thought she had no tears left to cry, but she was wrong. The men all seemed to hesitate. One came forward and leaned over her to cut her bonds. She was rescued at last.

**xxx**

Everything became a whirlwind of men with guns, paramedics poking her and asking her how she felt, and an ugly looking police officer asking her if she could talk. It was all too much. What Meg wouldn't give for one familiar face. Someone she knew. She felt so overwhelmed, so lost. The sun shone bright in her face after all her days in the dark. She was only beginning to see clearly. Her eyes stung.

There were too many people around her. Where was James? He could be just waiting to kill her, a paramedic leaning over with his smile, or the police officer with a nose like him. He could be anywhere. She tried to look everywhere, adrenaline rushed through her body. Meg began to panic. People began moving faster around her, hands reached out to sooth her, and nurses spoke assuring words. She felt trapped, her eyes searched for a face she knew, anyone. Her eyes lit on a group of people with familiar uniforms, trying to push their way past the police lines. She began to identify them; Krennick and the Admiral were yelling at some police officers, Bud was comforting a crying Harriet. The last figure was desperately searching the scene in front of him, Harm. She began to cry with relief. He was here.

Nurses soothed her. A voice called out her name. Once, twice. He was here. Someone pushed away all the hands that were attempting to comfort her. The next thing she knew was she was pressed against someone who smelled like Harm. Her hand free of the IV clung to him. He gripped her like he was never letting go. She couldn't stop the tears. She was safe. And she hadn't felt like that for who knew how long. James couldn't get to her while Harm was there. Her fingers gripped his top with intensity. She was dirty, tired and hungry, but now Meg was also safe.


	11. Sleep

**AN: Sorry about the long wait, Christmas was crazy! Sorry for any mistakes, this chapter was not edited. Thank you for all the reviews, especailly byrhthelm, Semaphore, rlrct, VisualIDentificationZeta, Michi uk, and jpstar57. Enjoy!**

**xxx**

It smelled of disinfectant and sickness. She was in hospital. Harm hadn't left her side since they had been reunited. Meg was ever so grateful. Harm had assured her that Peterson was dead. The SWAT team had taken him out. Meg was shocked to realise that Peterson had done this before. But she smiled a little and asked the appropriate questions before the ambulance rushed her off to hospital.

The hospital was keeping her overnight, they wanted to make sure she was hydrated enough before they sent her home. Meg felt awkward. She was constantly being watched by doctors, people treated her like she was going to break down. It angered her. Even Harm was hovering, he treated her like she was made of glass. She just wanted to be in her own shower and then snuggle under her own cover. Relax in the warmth of her familiar bed. Open her eyes and see the familiar items in her room. She just wanted to be home. Instead she had to deal with starched sheets and an uncomfortable hospital gown. Her IV itched and the walls were made of glass, she had no privacy. She was like a fish in a bowl.

But Harm had apologized profusely when he told her she couldn't go home and when she slyly suggested he break her out of the hospital he had gone all responsible on her. And acted like a sap. Something about letting the doctors do this so that he could be 100% sure she was ok. But she wasn't ok. She wasn't even fine. Inside she was a mess. Yeah sure Harm had told her Verity, sorry Peterson, was dead, but she didn't believe it. Her mind played tricks on her. She saw Peterson everywhere, in everyone. A nurse getting too close, or her doctor putting his hand on her arm to comfort her would cause her to flinch back as if she was about to be hit. It made Harm even more protective of her than he already was. She tried to make light of the situation and played down her fears and reactions to the people around her. It wasn't like she was blocking Harm out, she would open up to him, and there were just too many people around. She had to be strong now.

She also felt an irrational fear that these walls were going to close in on her like her cell. In fact all she had to do was close her eyes and she was back in that cell. Meg dreaded the nurses coming into her room and giving her pain meds. She would be forced into dreaming she was back in that cell with a gun to her head, and she couldn't wake up. She would be trapped. The thought terrified Meg, causing her to be very nervous every time a nurse walked by. When they came to give her pain medication she had caused a big fuss.

**xxx**

"No." Meg crossed her arms.

Harm shifted in the corner. "Ma'am, it will help you with the pain. You'll go to sleep and not feel a thing. It's the best thing for you now, to sleep. It will be ok." The nurse stepped forward with the needle. Her shoes squeaked on the clean floor. Kindly she put her other hand reassuringly on Meg's arm.

Meg flinched. The nurse stepped back. The room became stuffy. Why were they looking at her like that? She wasn't going crazy. "NO." Meg said firmer this time. Harm moved unsubtly closer.

The nurse sighed in frustration. "Ma'am are you sure? You really need to sleep. You don't have to worry about it hurting, the needle is inserted into your IV. It is up to you, but this medication is recommended by your doctor." The nurse reached out to touch her, then drew her hand back quickly.

"Yes, I am sure. No medication." Meg arms drew tighter around herself. She tried to hold her fear inside. Why couldn't the nurse just listen to her? She wanted to be alone now.

The nurse looked unsure. "Well it's up to you. Call me if you change your mind." She put the needle away, then turned and walked out of the room, glancing over her shoulder as she went.

Watching her talking to the other nursed and pointing at her room, Meg shivered. "She is telling them how crazy I am." It was a statement. Both Harm and she knew what was going on.

Harm came forward and gently sat down on her bed. Meg drew her knees up to her chest. Her chin rested on her knees. "No they're not." Harm said to her. Meg looked at him sceptically.

"Really Harm? The pointing and miming trying to give a patient a needle is just a coincidence? Res ipsa loquitur. Harm, their actions speak for themselves. Either you're being nice or you are going crazy along with me sir."

Harm ducked his head, "Since we have no evidence with which to prove either claim shall we drop this conversation?" Meg glared at him in response. "I'll take that as a yes." He hid his smile. She was acting more like Meg again. This was the most she had said since she was brought in, and while it wasn't much, it was something. Harm knew that Meg would be different after her captivity. But nothing prepared his for the small scared childlike Meg that was sitting on the stretcher. He had felt so protective, she had looked so scared. She looked so unsure now in the hospital bed. He almost reached out, but then he remembered how she had reacted when the nurse had tried to comfort her, and decided against it.

Meg sniffed. Damn it, why was she feeling emotional? She felt so silly for the way that she had dealt with the nurse and she knew Harm must have his suspicions. She didn't want to sleep, Meg didn't want to be at her captors mercy again. She was supposed to feel safe once it was all over. Why then did she feel so vulnerable, so defenceless? Peterson was dead. Meg knew that logically. Meg felt tears threaten, her world was so unstable at the moment. Police wandered past her room, curiously glancing in, a sign she might not be safe yet. The man who had taken her statement leant against a desk talking to another guy in a NCIS cap. She wanted to be home, she wanted it all to go away, Meg wanted to be normal again. Because right now she was a mess.

Meg was being quiet for too long Harm realized. Glancing up he caught the tears dancing in her eyes in the bright hospital light. Meg was staring forward into nothing, a blank look, it scared Harm. "Meg?" She turned to stare at him, her eyes were conflicted. Her lip trembled slightly. "Hey, what's wrong?" Forgetting about what happened with the nurse Harm put his hand on Meg's shoulder. She leaned slightly into him. A tear trickled down her face.

"I want to go home." Meg's voice wavered. Harm leaned forward, unsure of whether she would refuse his comfort or not. "Please Harm?" She sounded so young. He hugged her. It was all he that he could do. She let him.

**xxx**

Her face went slightly red thinking about it. Breaking down in front of Harm was embarrassing, he was so damn nice about it, that was the problem. Meg wondered how long she could avoid sleeping before her body forced her to. Harm himself had long ago collapsed in a chair inside her room, his long legs sprawling everywhere, his flight uniform crumpled. He must have worked in it for days, not stopping at his apartment to change. He must be so tired. So was she but she wasn't going to sleep. Her thoughts drifted, and her eyes grew heavy. Sleep came.


	12. A Plan

**AN: Sorry about the long wait for this chapter, real life got in the way. Anywho, enjoy and review!**

**xxx**

**Harm's POV**

He had two more weeks off. He needed a plan. Meg was coming home today and the psychologist and trauma counsellor recommended that someone stay with her for the foreseeable future. Meg's mother couldn't leave the ranch in Texas and move to DC for any long period, so she was out of the equation. Harm had offered, and since Meg trusted him the most since her captivity, it was agreed that he would live with her.

But he hadn't thought it through. In two weeks he was due back on the Patrick Henry, he could resign his commission, but what would he do then. Maybe he was overthinking his situation too much. He needed to talk to someone. Maybe Bud? No, he wouldn't have a clue. That ruled out Harriet too. What about Skates or AJ? AJ might be able to take him back at JAG. They were understaffed.

Harm paced outside Meg's room as the doctors instructed her on medication she needed to take and break it to her that she wasn't fit for duty. That would be the big blow. AJ had given her a month's personal time, but her doctor had declared her unfit to work. Meg was protesting as usual.

A door crashed. "Harm, they are telling me I can't go back to work yet! Tell them I can." Her eyes blazed with subdued fury. "Tell them." She was mad. He tried to look her in the eyes, to explain it to her. She avoided his eyes. Harm knew that she understood and her pride saw this as a sign everything wasn't normal, and that she was weak. Meg Austin didn't do weak. Meg would fight with everything she had to regain her normal life. She wasn't going to play the role of the victim. No matter how effected she truly was.

"Meg you know they are right. Give yourself some time to heal, you will go back to work soon, just give it some time." She stared at her feet, but she was still angry, he could tell. "For goodness sake Meg, did you just expect to waltz back into work after being stuck in a cellar for days and being held captive? Use your logic Meg. Use your damn brain, people are doing this because they care about you. You can't even let the nurses and doctors get too close to you, what happens when it's a client? What then Meg? Huh? Cause if you can't work with strangers then what? Meg you have to give yourself time to heal, don't push yourself dammit!" Harm paused for breath. Meg looked shocked, like he had dumped a bucket of ice cold water on her head. Harm rubbed his hand through his hair. What had caused him to go off his rocker at her like that? "Listen Meg, I'm sorry…"

"Save it sir, I understand." She glared, but the fire had gone out of her eyes. Meg spun on her heel and walked back towards her room. Away from him. If only she wasn't so stubborn.

**xxx**

Meg dumped the clothes out of her bag and onto the hospital bed. Harriet had been kind enough to bring her something to leave the hospital in. How dare Harm? How dare he point out her problem like that? She picked up the clothes and headed toward the bathroom. Didn't he understand that it was her deepest fear that she would be terrified of strangers for the rest of her life? Maybe she couldn't go back to being a lawyer because of some stupid creep. She shut the door hard. Tears burned in her eyes. She refused to let them fall; she could control her emotions in the least. They may determine her work and her life for her but she would control her reactions. She began to get dressed. Harm wouldn't make her cry, not today. Against her will a tear slipped down her face. She angrily brushed it away. Her hair swung in her face. "Damnit." Maybe he was right, maybe she needed time. She couldn't be stuck in this state of terror forever.

**xxx**

Harm leaned against the hospital wall, waiting for Meg. He shouldn't have said what he did to her. He regretted it the minute he realised what he had said. He had tried to apologize, but Meg was taking none of it. She was aloof and distant. He wished she would talk to him. There was just so much going on in her life right now, she couldn't be as ok as she seemed.

He saw Meg almost run out of her room. Her eyes frantically scanned the opposite end of the hallway. She looked frazzled, but trying desperately not to freak out. He silently observed her. She was looking for something, or someone. She turned around and saw him. Relief filled her face. She also looked ashamed and embarrassed. She walked quickly towards him. "Harm. I thought you had left."

He saw her hands shaking. "Wasn't planning on it Meg." He took her bag from her, and gestured for her to go ahead of him. She hesitantly stepped forward. "By the way Meg, I am very sorry for what I said earlier." She turned around to face him.

"That's ok. It was all true." Meg studied her feet. "I can't work if I'm scared of strangers." Harm opened his mouth to protest. "Harm, just don't. Both you and I know it's true. Let's leave it at that." He paused.

"Sure." He placed her hand in his. Harm wondered for a brief moment if she would freak out at being touched by another person. But to his surprise she just squeezed his hand and they set off to take her home.

**xxx**

She had fallen asleep minutes into the ride home. All those days of fighting off sleep and simultaneously the nightmare had left her exhausted. Harm was concerned about her, but at least she felt safe enough to fall asleep in his presence. He brought the car to a stop in front of her apartment.

It had been decided that because hers had a spare room and his didn't they would stay at hers. Also Harm hoped it would help Meg to relax. Hoped desperately, she was so high strung at the moment.

He left her in the car and opened her apartment up and put her bag in the corner of her room. Making sure her bed was ready he made his way back down to the car. Meg's face was peaceful. She looked so relaxed, the complete opposite of the past few days. The release from hospital had done her some good. Harm gently slipped his arms under her and lifted her up from her seat. Meg muttered a little but stayed asleep. One of her hands unconsciously gripped at his shirt. Harm gazed at it. Then shaking himself out of his thoughts, he carried her up to her apartment.

Carefully he laid her down in her bed. She snuggled into the pillow. He blonde curls were already out of their neat design. He pulled the covers over her. He quietly closed the curtains. He watched her sleep, her chest rose and fell with each breath. The face that she was alive continued to amaze him. For a while Harm had thought he had actually lost her. Now here she was safe and sound in his care. And now he realized something even more amazing, he loved her. Harm loved Meg. She murmured in her sleep, drawing Harm out of his thoughts. Smiling slightly he left the room to call the Admiral about getting his job back. Harm shut the door behind him, Meg's room was left in darkness.


	13. Nightmares and Mistakes

**AN: So this is a little angsty, but I am trying to keep it at a mnium. There will be some cause she is traumatised. Thanks to VisualIDentificationZeta, jpstar57, byrhthelm, Semaphore and rlrct. Oh and to a little butterfly friend of mine who helps me with my stories :) Read and enjoy. Sorry for any mistakes...**

**xxx**

"Yes Sir. I understand" Harm fiddled with his last letter to Meg as he wandered around her apartment. "Yes Sir. Are you sure? Of course Sir." Harm put it down on the table. "Thank-you Sir. I will." With that he hung up. He ran a hand through his hair and sank down onto Meg's couch. The Admiral had given him his job back at the JAG office. Harm put his phone next to the letter. With Meg gone they were a lawyer down on an already short staffed office. AJ had also given him time off to get Meg settled. Two weeks starting from today. Harm planned to make the most of that time. They had a lot to talk about, Meg herself had to heal. And until she was healed he wasn't going to push her. The problem was Meg wasn't getting her job back until she was cleared for duty. Which judging by her actions since her abduction wouldn't be soon. Harm might be replacing her for good. He sighed and put his feet up on the table.

Harm jerked, his eyes flew open. He must have fallen asleep. The screaming sound that had woken him was frightening, it filled the apartment. It was the sound of a wounded and scared animal. It sent shivers down his back. The sound was coming from Meg's room; Harm was off the couch and at the door in a second. The door flew open letting light into Meg's dark room and revealing a sight that made Harm cringe.

Meg was crouched in the corner of her room. Her entire body trembled with fear. Tears ran down her face, and a desperate keening sound came out of her mouth. The second Harm opened the door she had tried to disappear into the corner and stopped screaming. Instead she watched him with wary eyes. Eyes that didn't recognise him. She begged him not to hurt her, to leave her alone, and that she would do whatever he wanted if only he would just leave her alone. Harm was shocked.

**xxx**

"Please James. Don't hurt me." Meg's voice was barley a whisper. She tried to push herself as far away from him as he approached her. Her entire body trembled. Why wouldn't he just leave her alone? He moved closer. "It's so dark in here James, please I need a window." She begged. He stopped coming. Her attacker uttered a swear word. Backing away from her he swung open curtains she hadn't noticed in the darkness. Light filled her prison. Her captor turned around and all of a sudden he wasn't James, he was Harm. She buried her face in her knees and sobbed. She was so stupid and weak.

**xxx**

Harm realised quickly that this situation was his entire fault. Who would put a traumatised person in a dark room, especially if she had been kept in a dark room? He was an idiot.

She was sobbing in the corner of her room. Harm was unsure if approaching her was the best thing. He didn't want to scare Meg more. Her blonde hair was damp with sweat and her whole body was shaking in fear. He was the cause of all this. Harm stayed back, not wanting to mess anything up even more. But Meg just continued to cry and showed no sign of stopping. Harm walked up and crouched beside her. She didn't shy away from him. Harm took this as a good sight. Careful not to startle her he put his hand on her shoulder. To his surprise Meg didn't flinch, instead she leaned into it. Slowly Harm sat down. He put his arm around her shoulders, and drew her into a hug. Slowly her knees went down and somehow they ended up with Meg in Harms lap, arms tight around him crying into his shirt.

"I'm so sorry Meg. I'm so sorry." Harm kept whispering his apologises into her hair as she cried. She gripped him tighter. "I should have known Meg. Sorry." He was almost crying along with her. This mess was all his fault.

**xxx**

Meg was curled up on the couch. The only signed of her breakdown was her red puffy eyes and the messed up bedroom behind her. Harm came out of the kitchen. He delicately held two cups of tea in his hands. She forced herself to smile up at him. "Thank-you." It came out raspy, her voice raw from crying.

Harm sat down next to her. For a few painful minutes they both sipped their tea and avoided each other's eyes. It was awkward. Meg bit her lip. Her hands shook as she held the tea. She set it down carefully on the table. She felt Harm's eyes follow her. "I'm sorry Meg." She turned to face him after he spoke. Harm was looking into his cup. Meg put her hand on his knee.

"It's okay. You didn't know how I would react." Harm met her eyes and smiled slightly. "So enough with the apologising okay?" A little spark of the old Meg crept into her voice. Harm perked up. He put his tea down beside hers.

"Meg I've been thinking…well it's just an idea." With a sinking feeling Meg listened to him. She gave him no indication whether it was okay or not for him to continue. "Okay then, I'll just go ahead. I know you saw a psychologist and a trauma counsellor at the hospital." She watched him swallow and fiddle with his hands. "But it was a once off thing. Have you considered a therapist Meg?"

Meg straightened. How dare he? "Are you implying that I'm weak? Or trying to humiliate me? Harm for goodness sake I don't need a therapist." Her hands shook with anger. "There was a doctor who said I might never regain normal functioning in my life. He said kidnap victims never do. And do you know what I thought when he said that Harm?" Meg glared at him. "I thought I am going to prove him wrong. I am going to be normal. I am not going to have nightmares and get frightened by every stranger. I will not flinch when someone touches me. And I will Harm. I don't need your therapist." Her hands gripped the couch with the intensity of her anger.

"It's not giving up to see a therapist Meg. It will help you to be 'normal' as you put it." Harm almost pleaded. Meg stood up. Their tea grew cold forgotten.

"You expect me to hurt. To need help. Yes? You expect me to have to talk to someone." Meg paced. "Well I do hurt and I do need help sometimes Harm. But victims go to therapists and I am not a victim. I do have to talk to someone about my feelings and fears sometime I know. But not now." She stood still and looked into his eyes. "And not yet."

Harm watched her. Meg could see the wheels turning in his head. "You don't want to see a therapist because you are scared."

"No I'm not."

She wasn't. Why was he insisting on bringing up such painful topics? Surely he knew she couldn't deal with this now. She turned to face the wall. "I'm not scared. I'm terrified. I don't want to talk to some stranger about how I feel. I do not want to talk to those I know about how I feel because it would make me seem weak." Meg trembled. "But most of all Harm I am sick to death of crying. One word about my feelings has me a sobbing mess. I don't want to cry anymore. I have cried enough tears to make Texas a damn blossoming tropical rainforest." She finished with feeling. Meg turned around to face him.

Harm had moved. He was standing in front of her. "I get it. I pushed too much too soon. I'm sorry." He put his hands on her shoulders. "I just don't want to be shut out."

"So sending me to talk to a stranger was including you how?" Meg almost smiled.

"I saw that Meg." Harm smiled a full Rabb grin. It felt so good to see it again.

"What? I'm doing nothing." Her smile grew.

Harm tapped her nose. "You smiled. Not as in 'I know I should, so I will', but an actual smile." Meg wrinkled her nose at him. "I can witness to the fact that it was a real one."

Meg grinned. "Do you have proof sir? Harm shook his head. "Well then your case is a very poor one. I will deny the very existence of a smile. And further more…" He put a finger on her lips.

"Shut up Meg." She looked at him horrified.

"Oh no you didn't Harm!" He took a step away and removed his finger from her lips. "You'll pay for this. Big time."

There is a time to fight and a time to run. Harm chose to run.


	14. What is 'Normal?

**AN: Ok I won't be able to update for a week, but I have two chapters ready to post when I can. Sorry the style will change from all this angst soon, but at the moment Meg is dealing with a whole lot of stuff. Thanks for all the amazing reviews, especailly VisualIDentificationZeta, jpstar57, byrhthelm, Semaphore and rlrct.**

**xxx**

Meg slept with the curtains open and the light on in her room from now on. She refused to go anywhere dark or enclosed. Harm tried to avoid any situation that would cause her to have a panic attack. But even Harm couldn't save her from her dreams. Every night Meg woke up screaming.

Meg avoided any sleep at all costs. She had to sleep of course, but she dreaded it. As the days past she became thin and had huge bags under her eyes. She smiled less and less, she was listless and scared of most things. Her blonde hair was limp in its normally bouncy bob. She wandered around the apartment with a forlorn attitude. The Meg Harm used to know was gone. She was a shell of who she was, Harm felt she was letting her situation take the upper hand. Harm began to look worried, Harriet brought over food and Bud tried to make her laugh. Nothing changed. Meg felt like she was walking on eggshells.

Earlier that day Meg had found two envelopes. Scrawled across the front in Harm's handwriting was her name. Their old habit of writing letters to one another while Harm was flying had amused her and reading them on her couch was a highlight of her day. Letters were like old friends; their words wrapped around you and immersed you in someone else's world for a little while. She had treasured every letter and photograph from Harm in a box. She wanted to read these too, and engage herself in Harm's letters for a while. She decided to wait until Harm was safely asleep in her spare room before she allowed herself to indulge in his letters.

Glancing over her shoulder to make sure Harm was still asleep on her spare bed she carefully prised the first letter open. The paper crinkled. She scanned the page. Her thoughts ranged from sad about the hopefulness and happiness in Harm that would be destroyed by her disappearance, to amusement at Harm's burnt dinner. That dinner was the last time she saw Harm before she disappeared, and it felt like a century ago. Time had crawled. Calculating in her head Meg realized that Harm's fateful dinner had taken place just over a week ago. What a horrible week it had been.

The second letter was smaller. It was written on JAG paper, Harm's wards were all but scrawled. Meg stared at the paper, he must have written it during the search for her. The question was if it was before there was hope for her return, or after. Meg let the paper drift down before determinedly lifting it back up and reading it.

An hour later she was still clutching the letter, her fair fingers scrunching the sides of the paper. _I think I may love you. _Harm may love her, Meg. She loved Harm sure, but Harm loved her? Her face lit up in the old Meg smile. Well actually he said may love her. May. What does that mean? Meg came to a realization. Harm was talking about the old Meg. He wasn't talking about the Meg who had nightmares and was scared of everyone. Not this new Meg who wouldn't leave the house and wouldn't let him out of her sight. The happiness just washed right out of her. He loved the old her, not the new Meg. She wasn't the old Meg anymore, so therefore Harm didn't and couldn't love her.

**xxx**

After two nights with only three hours sleep, Meg fell asleep on the couch. Harm was relieved, he knew of her nightmares, but he couldn't help her, all he could do was hold her when she woke up. He had called the psychologist from the hospital and she said time would heal Meg. All he could do was wait. Something else seemed to be on her mind at the moment. She would drift off in the middle of a sentence and stare off into space. She was moodier, and took insult at everything he said. Meg wasn't acting in the slightest bit like herself.

He had been patient and hadn't pushed her into doing anything she didn't want. He made sure she ate, gave her space and hugged her when she needed it. Last night he had brought her home a Texas pizza. Meg had eaten two bites. Now Meg looked worse than when she had come out of the cellar, Harm was concerned. He didn't know how much time she needed, or when she would breakdown from exhaustion and starvation. Something needed to change.

Meg moved in her sleep. Harm stared down at her. She deserved a good rest, time for her body to recover. He gazed at her face, it was troubled. He wanted to wipe all the worry and fear off her face. Somewhere in this troubled woman was his spunky, cheeky, impulsive and brave partner. Every now and then that Meg would peek out from behind this new Meg. Harm rejoiced in those times. She was still his Meg.

**xxx**

James stood in front of Meg. He held a gun in his one hand, in his other a letter. His face was covered in an evil smirk. "Miss me already? I hope you didn't miss me too much." He stepped forward. Meg tried to move back but found she was tied to a chair. She strained at her bonds, James laughed at her. She began to frantically try to get away, but the harder she tried the louder James laughed. Her head began to ache with all the noise.

"Stop James please, stop!" She begged and pleaded. James laughed harder.

He began to get closer and closer to her until he was right in her face. He waved the gun around. "I could kill you with this, but I'm creative." He put the gun down. He brought the letter forward. James grinned. "See this?" Meg realized it was Harm's letter. _I think I may love you. _"I see you know which letter this is. I could kill you but you see instead of that I have made you undesirable to the man you love. He wants you. But as you know that Meg, the one he loves, is dead and gone." He got right up close into her face and she was overwhelmed with the smell of onion and garlic. It made her gag. Fear filled her.

"I will change. I will be the old Meg again. You won't win. I can heal." She frantically argued. This was a nightmare. Nothing James said was true. She was going to wake up and be safe at home.

He cackled. "Do you see any change in yourself? Yes you do. Every day you drift further and further away from the old Meg. The doctors said to give it time, but all time is doing is making it worse."

She cried out at him. "Shut up! Just shut up! You aren't real, go away and never come back!"

James moved away from her. He smirked. Meg strained away from him. "I may not be real but what I say is."

**xxx**

Screaming filled the apartment as it had every night since Meg had come home. Harm once again awoke with a jerk. Meg had thrown off her blanket in the night. Her face was screwed in pain. Harm was filled with pain at the sight before him. Her arms and legs were frantically moving. Her blonde hair was damp with sweat and her freckles stood out on her white face.

He shook her, gently at first, then harder. "Meg, wake up. It's only a dream." Her eyes flew open taking in the room. The blue orbs were filled with panic. Scanning the room she finally settled on his face. "It's not real."

She collapsed exhausted against his chest. "It's realer that you think it is Harm." She clung to him like she had every other night. She cried like she did every other night. Harm found himself thinking something has to change, I can't do this anymore. Then he had an idea, and it may just be crazy enough to work.


	15. Harm does Something Right

**AN: Thanks for all the amazing reviews, especailly VisualIDentificationZeta, jpstar57, byrhthelm, Semaphore, rlrct, jslee102 and Jeneral2885.**

**xxx**

Meg was confused and slightly annoyed. Harm had woken her up at an ungodly hour of the morning. "Meg, Meg!" She shoved his hand off her shoulder.

"Too early." Meg mumbled sleepily. " I'm sleeping." She rolled over. Silence once again took over the room. Meg signed in relief, she was going to be able to sleep a little longer. Why on earth was he waking her up so early? She tried to get back to sleep. Her mind refused, why was he waking her so early? Giving up, Meg rolled over and sat up. Glancing through bleary eyes at the clock, "Harm it's quarter to five in the damn morning!"

Harm looked smug. "I know."

Meg rubbed her eyes, her blonde hair fell over her face. "Well it had better be good, I was actually sleeping." She yawned.

Harm looked a little guilty. "Sorry about that. Can you get up and showered in 10 minutes?" Meg grimaced. "Please?"

Meg looked at Harm. He looked so excited. The past week or so had been hard and tiring. Both of them were exhausted. "Fine." She was normally up by this time anyway. "But I need coffee when I come out of the shower and a good explanation. By coffee I mean good strong coffee. Preferably black." Just because she could have been awake, didn't mean she wasn't going to make him suffer a little for waking her anyway.

After coming out from her shower, Meg was running a towel trough her wet bob. Harm dumped a packed backpack down by the front door, and told her that he was going to fetch something from a friend. Heading over to the counter he handed her a cup of hot coffee. Gratefully taking it Meg raised her eyebrow at him clearly awaiting the last part of her deal. Harm grinned at her. "Not yet, it's a surprise. Trust me you'll love it." Handing her a similar backpack Harm told her to pack for two nights away. "Compact packing Meg."

Meg looked unimpressed, but she took the bag off Harm anyway. "This had better be good." Harm grinned at her and almost ran out the door. Meg had to admit she was very curious and a little bit excited. Harm had been quite down for a while, looking after her post-abduction wasn't easy. It was nice to see him happy and busy. Meg looked down at the bag in her hand. She had better get packing as she had no idea when Harm would be back. Hopefully in time for her to finish her coffee, or she would be extremely grumpy.

**Xxx**

"Meg, you packed yet?" Harm ran up the stairs and opened the door to her apartment.

"Yes. All ready." Meg came out her room bag in one hand and gulping down the last of her coffee. She handed the bag to Harm. "Are you going to tell me now? At least a destination please?" She looked at him.

"Nope. Remember it is a surprise Meg." He picked up his bag and took her off her. "Meet you downstairs." He turned around and walked away.

"A motorcycle Harm?" Meg grinned. Well this would be fun. "Is it yours? I don't remember you mentioning having one." She stepped forward to admire it.

Harm was stuffing her backpack in a plastic compartment attatched to the back of the motorcycle. "It belongs to a buddy of mine. He is on deployment at the moment and isn't due back for six months. I can use it as long as I don't even scratch it." Harm grinned at her. "You like it?"

Meg smiled. "I'd like it more if I knew where it was taking me Harm."

Harm gave her his backpack. "You're going to have to take that on your back Meg. I'm not telling you where we are going Meg." Meg swung the backpack over her shoulder. Harm handed her a helmet. She put it on. "Fit you fine?" Me g nodded. Harm put his own helmet on. "Off we go, you're behind me Meg." Harm started the motorcycle.

"Righto Harm." She sat behind him, her arms wound around his waist. "Ready when you are." Harm turned the throttle, and they were off.

**Xxx**

The breeze was strong, and whipped around them as they sped out of Washington and into Virginia in the early hours of the morning. Meg clung to Harm and watched the scenery go by. It felt so good to be out of her apartment, it had begun to feel like another prison. Harm drove fast but carefully, once or twice Meg thought she heard him laugh. The feeling of joy was mutual. Most of Washington was asleep, but the crisp air of the early morning was intoxicating. The world was still dark but a haze of light hovered in the air as the dawn came along to banish the night. Meg smiled under her helmet.

At around ten o'clock Meg was getting very hungry. In all the rush to get out of her apartment she hadn't eaten. Thinking back on the past week or so Meg realised she hadn't had breakfast once. But now her stomach was rumbling in complaint. The sun was beating down on them as they sped onwards. Harm brought the motorcycle to a stop. Meg eased herself off. She stretched her arms. Waking in a circle Meg asked, "Are we going to have breakfast, or are you planning on starving me?"

Harm looked up at her. "You want breakfast?" He looked shocked. He quickly recovered, "Sure, we'll stop at the next food place I see."

Meg looked at him. "No Harm, the next place that sells pancakes will be where we will stop." She smiled at him. "You're paying. Shall we ride?"

Harm looked at her like she was a different creature. He had hoped the journey would do her good, but results like this…. "Of course." Meg looked at him. "To all of the above, I'll find you pancakes and pay and we shall have to ride or else we could walk but as I don't know how far and coming back…"

"Harm, Shut-up. "

Harm sighed in relief. "Thanks." They got back on again and were off, leaving the dusty road empty.

"Here good enough Meg?" Harm finished fishing around in his backpack. They were in front of a small restaurant, the road was dusty and there were few trees in sight.

Meg was busy studying the menu written on a blackboard at the door. "They offer pancakes." As if that was all the confirmation she needed, Meg walked right on in. Harm gathered his wallet and backpack and walked after her. He felt happy, his plan was working.

**Xxx**

Harm looked at Meg's empty plate shocked. "Where do you put it all?"

Meg set her knife and fork down. "I was hungry Harm." She defended herself.

"You sure were." Harm got up.

"Hey are you complaining about me eating? I seem to recall someone begging me to eat yesterday.

Harm winced. "No, not complaining. Commenting maybe but not complaining." He quickly backtracked. Meg grinned at him. "Are you ready to go again Meg?" He handed her his backpack, which she set on her back.

"How far exactly are we going Harm? I need to know something." Meg paused in putting her helmet on.

"It's more than one night, that's all you need to know." Harm put his helmet on and sat on the motorcycle.

Meg smiled sarcastically at him. "I knew that. Overnight bag remember?" Harm turned away. Meg sighed, she was going to get nothing more out of him right now.

After three more hours on the road they stopped for lunch. Then they hit the road again, driving into the night. After around six more hours of travelling, Harm and Meg were exhausted, it was late and hard to find a motel at that time of night. They had left Virginia long behind, and were deep in Tennessee. They pulled into a motel and disturbed an unhappy lady to book a room for the night. She lead her two late customers to their room, gave them a key and bid them good night.

Meg and Harm opened the door. A double bed, TV and couch greeted them. At least there was a couch so they wouldn't have to share a bed. After reading Harm's letter Meg had found herself unsure of how to act around him, and where their friendship stood. Meg absentmindedly wandered around the small room as Harm brought her backpack from the parking lot. "They have a nice shower, and all appears clean. We'll have to draw straws for the couch and bed."

Harm grinned. 'You mean we're not sharing?"

"Bed or shower?" Meg bruised herself taking her bag off Harm. He was gazing at her mouth slightly open. Meg looked confused. What on earth? Then she blushed. "No! I meant do you want to go to bed now and shower in the morning, or shower now then sleep!" Her face felt very, very warm.

Harm chuckled at her. A little too cheerfully he said, "Sure, sure. I know what you meant." His eyes twinkled.

"Sir!" Meg protested.

"Meg?" Harm's smile grew wider.

Irritated Meg bit her lip. "Fine then, I'm going to bed now. I'll shower in the morning. Excuse me while I use the bathroom." She swept past a laughing Harm.

By the time she was ready for bed and over her embarrassment Harm was curled up on the couch with a blanket, fast asleep. She carefully and quietly put her stuff away and made her way over to the bed. Meg drew the covers back on the double bed and slid in. Pausing, she gazed at Harm. It was good to hear him laugh again, even if it was at her expense. In the darkness Meg felt herself blushing again. She should really keep her mouth shut. Lying down Meg realized how exhausted she was. She wondered where on earth Harm was taking her, but only tomorrow would tell. Meg fell asleep almost instantly.

That night was the first night in over a fortnight that both of them slept the whole night through.


	16. Going Home

**AN: Sorry about any mistakes with motorbikes in the last chapter and this one, I'm not overly familiar with them. Thanks for all the advice though. As always thank for all the reviews, they keep the story going, thank-you for taking the time :) **

**xxx**

"Meg?" Harm raised his head sleepily from the couch. Something felt out of place. Apart from his partner being gone. He raised himself up onto one elbow and gazed around the room through bleary eyes. A glance at his watch confirmed the time, 0600. He must have slept through the night. That hadn't happened since Meg had gone missing. No wonder something felt weird, he was actually rested for a change. This trip had been a good idea, he just he hoped she like the destination as much as the journey. About that, where on earth was Meg? He sat up and pushed the covers off himself, stretching he examined the room.

Well her backpack was still here so she was coming back. Meg's bed was made and it looked like she was ready to go, which was good as he planned on getting off again soon. Harm stood up and walked toward his phone. Picking it up, he saw he had received a message.

_Ready for you guys. Txt me when you know what time you'll be arriving._

Everything in his plan was in place. The only wild card was his partner, who wasn't here. From what he remembered of the motel there weren't that many places to go once you were outside. Running a hand through his hair Harm decided that if she wasn't back by the time he had finished showering he would go and look for her. But until then Meg was on her own.

**xxx**

Meg crept back into their motel room. Harm was in the shower. She placed a brown plastic bag that emitted the smell of warm blueberry muffins and two hot coffees on the table. "I'm back Harm." She raised her voice so he could hear her. She vaguely heard him say something back at her but she couldn't hear him over the shower. Humming to herself Meg folded Harm's blanket and picked up the pillow he had managed to get on the other side of the room. Meg was struck by a thought. This was horribly domestic, picking up after him and fetching breakfast. Meg paused in her tidying up. Did she like it? How could she enjoy this feeling? She was too damaged for this to go further right now, but it did feel good. Just because one night was fine didn't mean she was back to normal.

"Meg?" Harm stepped out of the bathroom, pulling a shirt over his head. "Where did you go?"

Meg smiled slightly. "Have you checked on your mate's precious bike yet?" She set the pillow down on the couch. Harm was looking at her carefully.

"Why? Did something happen?" He began to look nervous. Looking at her again he asked, "Meg? Is the bike alright still?"

Summoning the most serious facial expression she could, Meg responded. "Go look for yourself Harm."

Looking at her horror spread over his face. "I knew I should have just taken the car. So many bad things can happen to bikes. It could get stolen, vandalised…" Harm shivered. "Even rammed by some reckless driver." He was out the door at an almost run.

Meg smiled to herself, and waited for Harm's reaction. "MEG!" She giggled. Poor Harm she had really given him a fright. She hadn't actually said anything had happened to the bike…Harm's imagination had done that.

Harm walked inside, he looked like he couldn't decide whether to laugh or growl at her. "Meg."

"Yes sir." She managed to keep a straight face. Barely.

"The bike is fine."

"Yes sir."

Harm's face went slightly red. "You were teasing me." It was a statement. Meg smiled cheekily and nodded her head. "Meg that was cruel, you know I couldn't let something happen to it. My mate would kill me. The look on your face when you told me to check for myself, it was as if something had died. I thought…I thought…" He was at a loss for words.

Meg started laughing despite how hard she had being trying not to. It started as giggling and then became full blown laughter. Harm looked at his feet in embarrassment. She had tricked him. The sound of her amusement filled the room. Meg tried to say something and couldn't get it out, she was laughing too hard. Slowly Harm started to smile, her laugh sounded so good, soon he was laughing along with her at himself.

They were both sitting on the floor recovering. "You should have seen your face Harm." Meg smiled again. "Wow, that felt so good." She leaned against the wall.

Harm turned his head and gazed at her. Meg's cheeks were slightly red from laughing and the lines from her worry and stress had disappeared. He smiled to himself, she was getting better.

All of a sudden Meg sat up. "The coffee!" Getting over to the table she picked up a cup, sipping from it, she grimaced. "Luke warm. Sorry Harm." She looked at him. "The muffins are fine though."

Harm smiled at her softly. "You brought us breakfast?"

"You bought yesterday. And you're doing so much for me." Meg bit her lip, nervous all of a sudden. He didn't mind?

Harm took the cool coffee off her. "Thanks." He simply said. But he smiled at her so lovingly, like he saw something in her. Meg blushed. The butterflies danced in her stomach.

**xxx**

Making sure the key had gone back to the lady at the counter, Harm walked back over to the bikes. Meg smiled up at him, her hair was pulled up away from her face. She was putting her gloves on. "Meg you do realise you are where the driver sits?" He handed her, her helmet.

Putting it on she said, "I do." Harm looked down at his backpack sitting in the dust.

"So you're driving us? Do you know how?" Harm looked sceptical.

"I have a licence, my brother, Jack owns one. I ride it when he's down in DC or I'm home." She held out her hand for the keys.

Harm played his last card. "You don't know where you're going."

"I would if you'd tell me."

Harm grinned at her. "Sorry, not happening."

Meg looked crestfallen, but not much. "Didn't think you'd tell me. Oh well, I tried. You'll just have to direct me. I'm still driving" Her hand waited for the keys.

Harm handed them over. "You win." He picked up his backpack. She grinned at him.

"Which way?"

**xxx**

They drove out of Tennessee into Arkansas, stopping only for lunch at a quaint little place along the way. The day grew long and Meg barely noticed them crossing the border into a new state. If she did, she didn't comment. Soon Harm signalled for her to pull over. Meg pulled them onto the side of the road. Harm eased off the back, and stretched. "I've wanted to do that all day." Meg smiled, soon she was copying him. They walked around in silence for a few minutes, each in their own thoughts.

Meg walked over to the bike. "Where to next?" She turned to look at Harm.

He picked up his bag again. Nonchalantly he said, "Surely you know the way home from here?" He watched Meg's face change. He walked over to her, smiling unsurely. This was the telling moment of his plan. He waited anxiously for a reaction, he wasn't waiting long.

Meg looked around. "Home." A grin lit up her face. Turning around she spontaneously kissed Harm on the cheek, while simultaneously hitting him on the arm. She blushed. "Thank-you Harm." She picked up her helmet and put it on, hoping to hide her blush. When would she learn not to be impulsive?

Harm was grinning at nothing and rubbing his arm. "A kiss for promotions and taking her home? Not bad, I must do this more often." Meg blushed even more. No bad if he thought so himself, Harm congratulated himself. She had taken it better than he had hoped. Or even dreamed.


	17. Normality

**AN: Sorry I haven't updated it a while I haven't been very well. Anywho, this chapter is not great, but it is more a holding chapter than anything. Thanks for all the reviews, especailly VisualIDentificationZeta, jpstar57, byrhthelm, Semaphore, rlrct, jslee102 and Jeneral2885 and any others I may have forgotten. Oh and there is a little more romance to come between Harm and Meg, I will update quicker to make up for my lapse in updates while I was sick. Boy have I missed writing! Enjoy. **

**xxx**

The motorbike sped along as dusk came, the driver knew where they were going, anticipating every turn before it came. The passenger on the back seemed relaxed and trusting. The Texan landscape swept by, each turn taking them closer to their destination.

Meg drove them down a familiar road, and up a driveway. Horses nickered at them and dog barked. A particularly brave border collie came out and chased them up the drive, barking the whole way. Under her helmet Meg smiled, it felt so good to be here. Bring the bike to a halt in from of the ranch Harm got off, Meg followed suit. Taking her helmet off, she shook her head, getting rid of all the cobwebs. Smiling, she walked towards the house. Majestic, it stood in the middle of the Austin land, and it was home to Meg. This was where she had scraped her knees, learned to ride a horse, and tried to jump off the roof. Coming out of the house onto the porch, wiping her hands on a dish towel, was someone she knew very well. "Mum!"

Harm watched Meg fly into her mother's arms. This had been a great idea, even if he said so himself. Harm chuckled. He felt a hand on his shoulder. A young man, tall and muscular, with serious blue eyes and blonde hair was gripping him. Painfully. Harm grimaced. Deciding he might as well say something Harm cleared his throat. "Hi. I'm Harm." He held his hand out. Feeling silly when the other man made no indication of introducing himself or shaking the proffered hand, Harm stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Jack." It was gruff. Oh, so he was Meg's brother. "You better be taking good care of my sister." Looking him up and down Harm came to the conclusion that Jack could probably pack a good punch. Quickly he nodded his head nervously, at a loss for words. Jack smiled at him like a lion smiles at his prey. "You better have."

Meg hugged her mother with all her strength. She was home. She felt her mother smile. "It's good to have you home Meg." Meg stepped back and they took each other in. Meg's mum was going grey, and she looked older. But she was gracefully entering her old age. Meg's mother glanced over her shoulder. "You better save that boy of yours." She chuckled. Meg spun around. Jack was giving Harm a glare that would work wonders in an interrogation room. He muttered something to Harm.

Meg narrowed her eyes as Harm gulped and responded. "Jack. Don't scare him. You remember what happened to the last one." She smiled as her brother looked up not the least ashamed.

"Meg." He smiled. "Nice to have you home." He bound up the steps onto the porch, gripping her in a massive hug. Releasing her he added, "I like him."

Meg frowned at Jack. Poor Harm, he was getting cross-examined like a first boyfriend. This is what happens when you have over-protective brothers. "He is my partner not my boyfriend Jack."

Jack grinned all of a sudden, cheeky just like her. "Whatever you say."

Meg huffed going red with embarrassment. Her mother smiled at her two children. "Come inside, dinner is almost ready." She gestured into the house. "Your other brothers will be in soon, they are just stabling a couple of mares for the night." Meg glared at Jack. Meg's mother looked at Harm who had fetched their bags and was walking towards them. "Children. They never grow up." She bustled him inside.

**xxx**

Harm's introduction to Meg's other brothers was less intimidating. Dan walked up to him and quietly said hello. Harm sensed that although Dan didn't say much, when he did everyone should listen. Dan was the odd one out in the family, everyone else was blonde haired, blue eyed and covered in freckles. Meanwhile Dan was tall and dark just like Harm. The youngest brother amused Harm, full of energy, he did nothing to disguise how curious Harm made him, and divulged the fact that Meg rarely brought men home. Information that sent a sign of relief through Harm. Luis was by far the most talkative Austin. All were blunt and made it very clear that he was under observation. Something that seemed to make Meg very nervous, Harm amusingly realised. He wondered why.

Sitting down at the table, Meg's mother prayed over the meal, before releasing everyone to dig in. Meg's brother ate with gusto. It was only halfway into the meal that Meg's brother Luis spoke. "Have you heard my latest joke?" He gulped down a potato. Everyone shook their heads.

"Do we want to hear it?" Jack spoke up. Dan just looked entertained. Like what his brothers did didn't affect him. Meg was looking unsure.

Luis grinned. "You'll like it." Jack signed, but Luis was not to be so easily quieted. "So anyway this is how it goes, a Bar Association charter flight was hijacked by terrorists. When the terrorists made their press release, they said that, until their demands were met, they would release one lawyer per hour." Silence. Then everyone groaned.

"A lawyer joke? Not even a good one?" Harm said smiling at Meg who was once again glaring at one of her siblings. "I know some better ones. How about this one, What's the difference between female prosecutors and terrorists?" Harm glanced around, Luis was sitting on the edge of his seat. Meg would hate this one. "You can negotiate with terrorists."

Meg sat up. "Harm!" Harm laughed at her annoyed face, the rest of her family joined in. Luis leaned over and gave him a hi-five.

Harm felt like he was part of the family here. He watched as Meg battled along with her brothers, loosing and winning some battles. He wondered what it would have been like to grow up like this. He looked up from his own musings. Meg was gazing at him with eyes full of laughter at something Jack had said. Her cheeks were rosy and her hair was waving around her face. All in all she was beautiful. Harm was in love.

**xxx**

**AN: I really don't want to hear how lame the jokes are. I know they are, sorry :(**


	18. Happiness

**AN: So the next chapter a day after I published the last one, lucky you guys! I felt bad for not writing for so long, and I missed it. This chapter is relationship development. Meg and Harm need to become comfortable. Thanks for the reviews, I really love them, you guys are amazing :)**

**xxx**

Harm awoke to the smell of pancakes cooking and the pleasant realization his dreams hadn't been interrupted by nightmares. Meg's nightmares had improved since they set out for her home. Harm took the leisure of lying in bed for a minute or two, just happy to relax. The past few weeks had been stressful to say the least. Harm rolled out of bed, throwing off the covers with a barely concealed yawn. Boy did that food smell good. He strode toward the shower, in a rush to get ready for the day, and downstairs.

By the time Harm came down, running a hand through his wet hair, Meg was the only one left at the table. Her plate was almost empty. Her mouth full, she gestured to a plate beside her. It was piled with pancakes. "Mum said you won't have to complain of starvation here." She spoke around her full mouth.

"No, I won't." He gazed at the full plate in amazement. "You'll have to roll me home." He pulled out a chair and she pushed his plate over to him. Harm shovelled the food into his mouth with gusto. They ate in a comfortable silence.

Meg stabbed the last bite of pancake and wiped up as much syrup as she could get off her plate. Settling back in her chair with a sigh, Meg smiled. "Boy was that great." Harm grinned around a mouthful of food. "I'll take that as a yes Harm." She picked up her plate.

Harm swallowed. "Where are the others?"

"The boys are working, and Mum drove in to town to pick up some groceries." Meg smiled at Harm all of a sudden timid. "She packed us a picnic lunch, suggested we take a ride out on the ranch."

Harm nodded in enthusiasm. "Sure, sounds great." He went back to his food.

Meg grinned. This was going to be fun.

**xxx**

Waiting for Harm at the yard, Meg rechecked that she had packed their lunch in her saddle bag. Her horse nickered at her. Reached across Meg rubbed her mare's nose. "Hey Jenny-girl." The horse gazed at her in response.

Harm walked towards Meg looking apprehensive. "I've never ridden a horse called Bullet before." He lead the big black gelding. "He better not travel as fast as one."

Meg laughed. "Afraid you can't handle him Harm?"

"No." Harm instantly replied.

"Then what's the problem?"

Harm looked at the horse, the horse regarded him. "I'm more unsure about safety. The evidence speaks for itself."

"What evidence?"

Harm gestured to the horse.

"You just gestured to of him."

"Yes!" Harm nodded enthusiastically. "Exactly. He has it out for me." The horse nudged Harm's back friendlily.

"He certainly seems to like you." Meg chuckled.

Harm glared at the horse. "Look what you did, you ruined my argument." The horse nudged Harm again, almost shoving him over. "What do you want?" Harm stared at the animal in a mixture of amazement and irritation.

Meg mounted her horse with ease. "Harmon Rabb doesn't like horses, well, well, well." She smiled.

Harm mounted with more difficulty. "I like horses that like me." He looked up as Meg laughed at him, pure joy on her face at his discomfort. Surprisingly Harm found himself captivated by the beautiful picture she made atop that horse. She was stunning. Shaking the distraction out of his head Harm guided his horse out into the ranch. "Come on slow coach!" He yelled over his shoulder. He heard a yell of aggravation from behind him and then he watched as Meg galloped past him. "Hey wait for me!"

**xxx**

They ended up meeting Dan on their ride and sharing their lunch with him. Meg and Harm laughed and joked. The banter flew comfortably between them. Dan just observed, interrupting once or twice. Occasionally he would smile when Harm teased Meg, or he when caught Meg glancing at Harm with more than just friendship in her eyes. He saw Harm watching at Meg when she laughed as she fed Jenny a carrot. Dan pondered on these facts he had gleaned and wondered if anything would come of the attraction he saw.

Harm glared at Meg. "I declare the court adjourned due to lack of relevant evidence from the defendant."

Meg turned to Dan. "What do you think?"

Dan looked up from his daydreams. "Harm's right." The frustration on Meg's face made both men laugh, she didn't lose a fight well. That's what made her a hell of a lawyer. Her grew red as the two men enjoyed her anger.

"It's not funny." She mumbled. "I bet Dan didn't even know what we were talking about and took Harm's side just to spite me." Dan had the grace to look ashamed. She was right on the button.

Harm beheld Dan looking a tad guilty, but still smiling. Meg was glaring at the both of them, her lips in a cute pout. He snickered. "You two guys know everything about each other, don't you?"

They both nodded at him. Dan smiled at something. "Did you ever hear about the time Meg tried to take her pony into the church claiming its soul needed to be saved?" Dan chuckled.

Meg leaned over and put her hand over his mouth. "What about the time you put on Mum's dress and heels and walked around the neighbourhood selling flowers?" She retorted.

"Truce?" Dan held out his hand.

"Truce."

Pity, Harm would have like to hear both stories.

**xxx**

Later that night over dinner, stories were told about everyone's days. The boys readily accepted Harm into their little gang after Dan supported him. Mrs Austin served food and was a peacemaker in all the family arguments. She took her daughter's side in almost everything to provide 'balance'. Meg could fight her own battles though, and Harm saw how this family had made her who she was today. As he watched her laugh and joke with her brothers, he hoped the nightmares were a thing of the past.

Bidding everyone an early goodnight Harm made his was up to the guest room. Collapsing on the bed Harm sighed. Today had been wonder. He really had fallen for Meg, and hard.

On the other side of the house Meg was sitting on a fence watching the horses. Today had been amazing for her. The worries of the past few weeks had stayed in Washington and she was beginning to see the old Meg in herself again. She also saw hope that Harm might love her, this her, or the version of her he had loved. She herself was certainly developing feelings for him.


	19. Shattered

**AN: Sorry about the haitus this story took, as a college student time becomes very precious and I really want to get into my courses at Uni. Thanks for all the reviews, especailly VisualIDentificationZeta, jpstar57, byrhthelm, Semaphore, rlrct, jslee102 and Jeneral2885 and any others I may have forgotten.**

**xxx**

Happiness. Safety.

Now that she was home Meg was beginning to forget the five days stuck in the basement of a serial killer. Life had fallen into her old routine, like she had never left home. She laughed and joked with her brothers, exercised the horses and put some cheeky cowboys in their place. All was well until Harm said to her one morning, "everything is perfect Meg", and smiled up at her with that melting grin that made Meg's heart jump with bliss. She was finally beginning to believe that Harm could really love her. And then he said those words that tempted fate itself.

**xxx**

Admiral Chegwidden was running a tight ship. Already understaffed before the Meg incident, now he was in severe need of help. He had done everything in his power to avoid calling Rabb back from his little vacation with Meg. Now however things were just a mess. He had given them two weeks to pull her together, and now it was time to recall him to his duties as a lawyer, even if Rabb had had only one week of his due leave.

"Tiner!" He barked into the phone.

"Yes sir?"

"Get Rabb on the line. Immediately."

He could hear Tiner hesitate. "Isn't he on holiday sir?"

"Yes." The Admiral sighed. "Directly damn it!"

"Yes sir." The Admiral could hear him dialling. He remembered Rabb telling him things weren't going so good, that Meg's recovery would take longer than expected. Sighing he picked up his pen to finish off a report. Things as they were at JAG, as much as he wanted to he couldn't let Rabb finish his leave. They were too understaffed, things were going badly. Krennick was burning the midnight oil and Harriet complained that Bud didn't have enough time to be a father to baby AJ. The thought of depriving his namesake of his father's time irritated him. But what really made the decision for him was that somehow word had got out that Commander Rabb was being reinstated. The number of files that were cluttering his desk with special requests for Rabb to try their cases was alarming. Some were war veterans, flight buddies and people who didn't know him, but had heard of his skills in the court room.

"Commander Rabb on line two sir." The Admiral sighed again and picked up the phone.

**xxx**

Harm put down his phone, the porch chair squeaked under his movement. Groaning to himself, he leaned down and finished tying his boots. Turning this unwanted development over in his mind he decided there was only one way to go, and Meg wouldn't like it. Glancing up he saw her arguing with Luis about how to do something. Despite her anger, her face was relaxed, she wasn't too skinny anymore and she looked rested. This place was good for her. When he had to go back he would try and convince her to stay behind and finish healing. She wasn't fit for duty anyway.

Harm stood up, the old porch chair creaking as he relieved its burden. Watching her hit her brother in the arm for something he had said, and then laughing as Luis winced, Harm decided that this conversation with Meg, or breaking the news of his imminent departure the next morning could wait.

**xxx**

Throwing a couple of his t-shirts into his backpack wasn't really packing, but it needed to be done. The spare room was returned to normal, and he hadn't even told Meg of his departure yet. Harm knew he couldn't slink off early in the morning, under cover of darkness. He had to tell her. Harm ran a hand through his hair. The problem was he wasn't actually worried about her anger or disappointment, he was more concerned that she would just agree with him a let him leave her behind. He was beginning to realise and develop feelings for Meg. He didn't want her to shatter them just yet. Groaning at his predicament, Harm zipped his bag shut. "So I was thinking about taking the horses…Harm?" Meg walked into the room her excited expression fading into confusion. "Why are you packed?"

"I have to go home. I was planning on telling you…the Admiral ordered me." Harm stepped forward, his hand out to calm her.

Meg stepped backward effectively avoiding his touch. "Why?" Her curls bobbed, and Harm watched her bite her lip nervously. Meg's eyes searched his face for an answer.

"JAG can't operate without me." Judging by the look on her face he should have been more serious. "Sorry, he needs me as he is understaffed Meg."

"When were you going to tell me? Her hands had crept up to her hips, and her expression was becoming one of anger. Exactly what he was trying to avoid, sort of.

"Soon?" It came out of his mouth in the form of a question.

Meg glared. "Harm."

He looked down. "I was waiting for the right moment."

Meg sighed, but her stance still radiated annoyance. "You should have told me when he called you." With that she walked out of his room. Staring after her Harm flopped backwards onto his bed. So she was angry at him then, damn it!

He obviously couldn't see her frantically making her way to her room as some tears escaped her barriers. The anger was a mask for something else. Meg didn't want Harm to leave just as much, if not more, than Harm wanted to stay.

**xxx**

The night was quiet, some horses quietly whinnied at each other, but for the most part the silence was unbroken. Harm lay in bed wide awake. Despite the fact that he had an early start the next morning sleep eluded him. Meg was on his mind. She had barley talked to anyone during dinner, and when he had told her family and apologized she had walked out. She must be really mad. Dan kept gazing at him with knowing eyes, while Meg's mother stared at the door her daughter had left from. Jack and Luis had nudged each other. The peace was destroyed, but something else was going on and Harm couldn't quite figure out what. This was the reason that he was analysing the ceiling, and coming to no conclusions. His pondering was broken by a scream. He shot out of bed and out his room. He hadn't heard these screams in five days. Meg's nightmares were back. Arriving at her room he saw her brothers rushing up the stairs only beaten by Meg's mother in a gown. Harm opened the door. Meg was curled up in the foetal position, her curl soaked in sweat and screaming at the top of her lungs. You could hear the horses complaining about the noise. Harm started to shake her. "Meg…MEG!" Startled out of her nightmare Meg stared wide-eyed at Harm caught in between her dreams and reality. "Hey, hey, it was just a nightmare. You're safe now." Meg's mother came and rubbed her daughter's back. To Harm's shock Meg looked at him and said, "You never came Harm, you left me to die this time." And then she broke down again. Harm just sat and watched Meg's mother comfort her daughter. All his trying to help her was for naught, five days of healing was gone and they were living the nightmare again.


	20. Love is in the Air

**AN: Long time no writing I apologize. Sometimes the writing magic runs out. Anyway one more chapter to go, I will finish don't worry! It is a short update, sorry. R&R**

**xxx**

Sometimes being scared was okay. Other times it made you feel like an idiot. Meg felt like an idiot. Well I mean, hello she had just had a complete breakdown in front of her entire family. She mentally hit her head against a wall. Then there was Harm and her mother, she had heard them alright, arguing over the fact that it was Harm's leaving that sparked this nightmare. Yeah right? Well maybe, but she wasn't totally reliant upon him. Meg could deal with her own problems dammit. She could confront her own fears. That is why she was sitting in her room and not down a breakfast with the family. Meg sighed. Yeah, being scared sucked.

Someone knocked on her door. Meg sat up. She didn't want anyone to come in. She chose to keep quiet. The person paced. By his footsteps it was Harm. He has that bouncy stride, like he was nervous.

"Okay so I know you are in there Meg."

She sat like a statue on her bed. Okay well silence was good. He should probably say what he wanted to say and go away.

"Well, I almost know. You could have sneaked out and I could be talking to an empty room. I don't do this kinda stuff…" She heard him shuffle. Meg could see him wringing his hands. "You can't stay in there forever!" It sounded like a plea. He muttered to himself. Meg caught the words, "she can't stay silent for life also." Meg caught herself about to speak. No. She was stronger than this. He had to be leaving to DC soon anyway. All she had to do was wait. "Well I have a day. One more day here Meg. And you are wasting it by sitting in your room." He turned around and walked off. Meg sat a little shocked. Now she had to leave her room, or starve out. Which was not an option. She gave Harm half an hour before he burst in here. He just had to try fix everything. Well now she was broken again, what was he going to do about that?

**xxx**

Harm gave up. Meg was understandably in a bit of a mess. She had been trying to keep her experiences from her family. So somehow he found himself wandering into the barn. Jack silently handed Harm a fork. Harm set to work helping him move the hay. Jack and Harm had developed a respect for each other. They worked silently for a few minutes.

"How often did that happen?"

Harm looked up at Jack. He stopped working. "The nightmares?" Jack nodded, his eyes full of brotherly concern. "Before we came here they happened multiple times a night." Harm looked at his boots. "I had thought it had stopped."

Jack mumbled something. Harm could tell that nightmares hadn't even occurred to him. Aftereffects from her time in the cellar were unexpected to her family. "Anything else?"

The wind blew some of the hay around. "She couldn't be near strangers. That was why they didn't want to give her back her job." Harm sighed. "Every lawyer has to deal with men, but JAG lawyers, these men are often brutal."

Jack winced. "That must have been hard to tell her."

"Well the doctor did the telling, I did the yelling." He grimaced. "Big mess-up on my part." Jack nodded.

"She going to be okay then?"

Harm hesitated. "Doctors say she can be. She refuses to talk about what happened. I mentioned a therapist…" Harm drifted off.

Her brother face changed, "No therapists."

"Meg and I came to the same agreement. Don't worry." Seems the whole family hated therapists. Well, if only he could sort this whole mess out. Harm ran a hand through his hair. Sometimes he felt so very useless.

Jack watched Harm. "She loves you."

Words couldn't describe the shock. Hope. "Does she?" Harms let the feeling dwindle. "She knows I love her. Read a letter that I wrote. But she hasn't said anything."

Jack grinned at Harm. "I know my sister. This whole leaving thing is what has her upset. My mother agrees with me."

"I know she was very vocal about it this morning."

Both boys grinned. Jack smiled. "She has only one daughter, she can be a little overprotective."

"A little?" Harm said overdramatically. Both smiled.

"Anyway, the real question is how much do you love her?"

It was a hard question. Harm thought a while. "Enough to wait until she is ready. I love her enough to leave her if that is her wish." Harm's eyes grew pained. "And that would be hard, giving Meg up." Jack smiled. "But I want her to be happy."

The big brother in Jack was very satisfied. "Then I better leave you two alone."

"What?" Jack pointed behind him.

Meg smiled nervously from the door of the barn. "Hiya Harm."


	21. Epilouge

**AN: So it is offically over. Sorry it is short, this is an epilouge. I would like to thank each one of you who has read my story, especailly Saissa, ArmyDT42, VisualIDentificationZeta, rlrct, Jeneral2885, Michi uk, jpstar57, byrhthelm, jslee102, and to gunsbuster who changed this from a oneshot into the monster it is today. Also to my own Butterfly, for all the times you helped me. I choose not to show Meg and Harm coming together, instead I believe that is best left to the imagination, but I hope you enjoy. Miss you all!**

**xxx**

Harm started making some phone calls. Things were falling into place slowly but surely. Meg was nestled besides him on the porch swing. Her body fit perfectly into his. Everything felt right.

First call was to Skates. Harm broke the news of the newfound relationship. Meg then kidnapped his phone to have a long chat to her alone. When she came back Meg was smiling that full blown cheeky Meg grin. It intoxicated him. He grinned goofily back at her. "What was that about?"

The swing creaked as Meg settled back down beside him. "Need to know. An you…"

"Don't need to know." They finished together. Both smiled.

He took his phone from her. "Do I call the Admiral now, or wait until we arrive?"

Meg thought for a minute. "We better tell Harriet and Bud now. The Admiral can wait." She cuddled up to Harm as a breeze blew past.

He smiled. "Okay then." They sat together in silence. "It is going to be some job to drag you outta bed in the morning."

Meg stuck her tongue out at him. "Me? Speak for yourself. I have been the first one up for a while."

"I am on holiday."

Meg smiled. "Well someone better be up because all the evidence is pointing toward you as the guilty party."

"Well when I had to wake you up to drag you out here…" Harm was fighting a losing battle.

She relaxed against him. "I hadn't slept in a week almost."

"I concede."

Meg punched her fist in the air. "I win!"

Harm sat up, causing Meg to sit up too. "This was a competition?"

She smiled cheekily at him. "It was. And I won."

"Did you now?" Harm leaned closer. Meg bit her lip. She nodded. "Well then your reward ma'am." And he kissed her long and hard.

"We should do this more often."

"I concur."

**xxx**

Arriving back at Meg's Harm set down his bag. "Jack better be careful driving my buddy's motorcycle back."

Meg came up behind him. "He will Harm. Trust me, you told him enough times."

Harm headed for the kitchen. "Coffee?"

Meg nodded. Then realized he couldn't see her. "Yes, thank-you."

Meg realized how domestic this felt. In her apartment, her unpacking and him making her coffee. She liked it. Maybe she wasn't quite the old Meg again, but she was starting to come to terms with the new Meg. It was time to talk to the Admiral.

**xxx**

"Reporting for duty sir."

The Admiral looked up from his work. "Rabb! Nice to see you again." He got up and walked around his desk. "Lt Austin I don't remember summoning you." His face was confused.

Harm stepped forward. "We have some things to say." He paused.

The Admiral leaned forward expectantly. "Well go ahead Rabb…"

"Yes sir." Meg felt so nervous. "The Lt Austin and I find ourselves in a relationship."

The Admiral took a step backwards. "Find yourselves?! Did you lose yourselves also!" He muttered to himself and paced. "Romantic I suppose?"

Harm nodded. The Admiral glared at him. "Yes sir."

The sounds of the JAG office could be heard. Piles of paper leaned precariously on the Admirals desk. "You realize that you can't work together?"

Meg answered this time. "Yes sir. We have plans."

"Pray tell me these 'plans' and soon."

Meg quickly glanced at Harm who gave her a reassuring smile. "I have applied for a position opening as a computer analyst in Naval Intelligence." She smiled slightly and watched the admirals face.

He sighed. "So I am to lose a good lawyer?"

Harm stepped back in. "She couldn't work anyway." Meg glared at him. Harm shrugged, it was true. But he did smile at her apologetically.

The Admiral looked at the two of them. "Made up your minds already I suppose?" They nodded. "Well then Meg you have a good reference." He walked back to his desk. "Rabb, I have two new cases files for you to look at. Better team up with Krennick." The Admiral grinned at Harm's wince and Meg's eyes reflecting a little jealousy. "Dismissed."

"Yes sir." They both turned around.

The Admiral looked up. "Oh and congratulations."

Meg and Harm smiled at each other. "Thank-you sir." The door swung shut behind them.

The Admiral picked up a pen. The two idiots, they were going to be an interesting couple. Poor children. He chuckled. Their offspring were going to have the Rabb knack for getting into trouble and Meg's spunk, as well as stubbornness and enough cheekiness. Lots of trouble.

**xxx**

Harm walked alone. The Wall was deserted; it was too late for the normal visitor to be out. Harm was glad. Meg was at home cooking them dinner. She had been so happy to get a call accepting her job offer. Harm had given her a kiss that beat any of her promotion kisses. He smiled as he walked. His eyes searched for a certain name. When he found it, Harm reached up. His fingers gently ran over the letters. "Hello sir." Harm glanced around. "I know your daughter. In fact she is waiting for me tonight." He dropped his hand. "I just wanted to let you know that I will take good care of her." He ran a hand through his hair. "Also sir I wanted to ask you an important question. Do I have permission to marry your daughter?"

**THE END**

**AN: Please review, even though it is over I still love to hear your thoughts!**


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